#200 For This Child We Have Prayed

We've hit 200 posts! I'm going to celebrate with a somewhat lengthier and heavier post.

If you read my blog at least semi-regularly you probably read some of my posts about our time in the NICU with our younger daughter, Mia. That was a stressful, difficult time. And yet, that really wasn't the beginning of our adventures with Mia. Way back in the spring of 2018, when Lanie, our older daughter, was a few months past her first birthday, Tess and I decided to try to have another baby. The summer and fall slipped by without Tess becoming pregnant. Winter started to drag along. Then, during January 2019 things got weird. Tess had gone almost two months without getting her period, but she really didn't feel like she was pregnant. She took a pregnancy test. Negative. We started to wonder what was going on. Some of our older friends had prepared us for the possibility of fertility troubles, but we really hadn't had any trouble with Lanie. We had figured we were some of the "lucky ones" who didn't have to go through that. Now we didn't know what to think.

The next few months were really hard. We went through a lot of wondering, a lot of questioning, a lot of lamenting. At times we wrestled with God. Sometimes we felt hopeless. It felt like we were carrying a heavy weight that we couldn't shake off. It felt like there was a hole inside us, a pain that just wouldn't go away. And often we felt so very isolated. Opening up about our struggle wasn't easy. We hadn't told anyone we were trying for a second baby, so there was explaining that needed to be done just to get started. And our troubles just felt so deeply personal that we had to feel very safe to even think about opening up. A large part of my job as a pastor involves trying to create an atmosphere where other people feel safe to talk to me. But a lot of times my work can also make it more difficult for me to feel safe to open up. For one thing, I often can help others trust I'll listen to them more if I don't spend much time talking about myself. But if I don't talk much about myself normally, then suddenly building up to a really serious discussion doesn't seem possible. So Tess and I really struggled for a while. And yet we knew that God was with us. Every so often, just when it felt like we were about to burst, God would send an old friend back into our lives, making us feel secure enough to share our burdens and process our fears and pain. God came through for us.

About a year into our journey, Tess was able to go in and see her doctor. After a few tests, we received a diagnosis: polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Our doctor was optimistic. She recommended some diet and exercise changes and prescribed some medication. Tess and I had some hope again, but the pain was definitely still there. We were holding our breath. Then, at the end of July Tess started to seem a little different. She was more tired, maybe a bit more emotional. We practically whispered to each other, "Could this be pregancy at last?" Tess took another pregnancy test. Positive! God had answered our prayers. The long struggle was over. We excitedly shared the good news with family and friends who had supported us through our difficult journey. And we simply told other friends and acquaintances that Tess was pregnant again and left it at that.

But I don't know that it's that simple. I've thought about blogging about this a few different times in the past but didn't quite feel ready. It still feels so personal. I don't doubt God's goodness. He helped us through our darkest days with His presence and love. He even answered our prayers: we have a wonderful, healthy daughter, whom I love deeply. I'm not here to say that there hasn't been healing. But the scars remain. I still remember the pain. I'm sure it's changed me in some ways. Hopefully it's made me more sensitive, more caring, less quick to think I have all the answers. I certainly don't understand everything yet.

However, as we approach Christmas, I can say this: when I felt my absolute worst, when I didn't know what to think, didn't know what to say, I found myself turning to God. I couldn't hardly even express myself, but God was there. He made me feel loved, cared for, understood. I think that speaks to the great wonder of Christmas. We Christians don't worship a God who is distant or detached. We worship a God who comes to us, who in Jesus becomes one of us and lives among us to save us. Our God understands us. Our God cares for us. So yes, I have pain in my life. But with Jesus, I have hope.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#199 Christmas and Presents

I love Christmas. I think it's extremely important that we celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus, our Savior, and remember the wonder of the incarnation, of God the Son becoming flesh and taking on our human nature. I enjoy singing Christmas carols and rereading the story of Jesus' birth.

I also love presents. It's a lot of fun to get something that I've wanted or something I didn't consider but really like. And I get a ton of joy and satisfaction from giving someone else a gift that they appreciate.

But sometimes I worry I make Christmas about presents and not about Jesus. I remember times where I went to worship on Christmas Eve and felt myself waiting for the service to be done so I could go home and exchange gifts with my family. Tess and I talked about this recently. We want to give our daughters gifts because we love them. We want to teach them how to receive things well and someday help them experience the joy of giving. We're not opposed to Christmas presents in general. But we also want our daughters to understand what Christmas is truly about, associating it with Jesus instead of presents. So we've decided to try to move our presents away from Christmas Day. We're planning to give our girls their gifts on December 20 in the hopes that we can more fully focus on Jesus on the 25th. (We decided on doing presents before Christmas Day rather than after because we didn't want the girls to want to rush through Christmas to get to their presents.) I'm not here to say that we've found the right way to do this or even the best way to do this, but we're trying to be at least a little thoughtful and intentional about what we're teaching our daughters. Our family is still young enough that we don't have real fixed traditions, so we figure now is the time to try things out.

I'm sharing these thoughts for a couple reasons. First, if my thoughts can be helpful to somebody else thinking through presents and Christmas, then that's great. Second, I'm sure I haven't thought of everything. So if you, dear readers, have any suggestions based on your own Christmas traditions, let Tess or me know. I hope you all have a blessed Christmas. Thanks for reading!

Grace and peace,

BMH

#198 Slow It Down

I've been reflecting on how I use my time lately. Part of that is related to COVID-19. Some of my formerly regular activities haven't happened in several months, so my working rhythm has been changing. With fewer in-person interactions I've had some weeks where I've had a little more space between responsibilities. I also just finished reading Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton, which challenged me to make a habit of taking time to be silent before God.

I've realized just how much I try to fill my time. I want to stay and appear busy in my job because I think that might justify the congregation paying my salary. I use the internet and my smartphone to avoid moments where I'm simply waiting or even not doing anything. Busyness becomes a habit, maybe even an addiction. Our culture tells us we should always be occupied, entertained. But it's hard for me to notice God or listen for His voice when I'm constantly doing something. And it's not so easy for me to be fully present with other people if I have a ton of things on my mind. I wonder if sometimes my busyness is an unconscious attempt to avoid God because I want to do things my way and/or I'm a little scared of what He might want me to do (or to give up) for Him.

But I need God. All my achievements are worthless if they keep me from Him. It's pretty stupid to try to serve God without taking time to be with God and learn from Him. Trying to do things my way isn't good for me or anyone else. So I'm trying to change. I'm trying to be less busy. I'm trying to begin my workdays by taking some time to just be with God. It's hard for me to quiet my mind. It takes me a while, and even then it's difficult for me to stay there. But I believe that God is present. Slowing down helps me remember that God is in control, not me. Seeking God in silence reminds me that I am loved by God, that my value comes from Him, not how busy I am. My purpose is not to do as many things as possible but to become more like Jesus, to draw closer and closer to God. So I'm trying to reduce my distractions and cut back my busyness where possible. I've got a lot to unlearn and relearn, but if I become even a little more open to God, then it will be more than worth it.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#197 Lanie and the 1K

Our local public library challenged us to read one thousand books with Lanie before she entered kindergarten. Last night I read book #1000 with her. Here's a picture of us reading the last book:

While I'm glad to no longer have to remember exactly what we've been reading with her, I have certainly enjoyed all this reading we've been doing lately. We've read books that Lanie likes (books with Pete the Cat, Mickey Mouse, or the PAW Patrol); we've read books that Daddy liked as a boy (books by Dr. Seuss or Mercer Mayer); we've read books that both Lanie and Daddy like (Superman of Smallville, Dragons Love Tacos, Diggersaurs). We've read books from our house over and over and over again. We've visited grandparents and friends and gotten to read their books. We've introduced Lanie to the joy of looking for new books to borrow from the library. We've lifted flaps and studied pictures. We've encountered tricky names and big words. We've learned about everyday things and gone on grand adventures. We've used different voices to help tell our characters apart. After this many books I think it's safe to say Lanie—like both of her parents—loves to read. Soon she'll be moving on to even bigger and more complicated books, finding all sorts of things I've never heard or even dreamed of before. Hopefully her daddy (and my ever-growing arsenal of silly voices) is able to keep up. But if not, Mia still needs about 750 more books to complete her reading challenge, and we've got lots of simple books that will be new to her.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#196 Early Thanksgiving

Here in the U.S. Thanksgiving is coming. We're only three days away from celebrating. I really like Thanksgiving Day. I need reminders to be thankful, and as a pastor I want thankfulness to be a regular part of the lives of the people I minister with and to. Having a full day dedicated to thankfulness—at least in theory—is great. While having a Thursday (and for many people a Friday) off of work doesn't help me as much as some others, I still appreciate the long weekend and the break from the normal routine.

But I also wish Thanksgiving Day came at a different time of the year. Being a pastor, I think a lot about church celebrations and tend to be planning a little bit ahead. By the end of November my mind has switched over to Advent, thinking about getting ready to celebrate Christmas and making sure we don't lose sight of our hope for Jesus' return. While I think a special service dedicated to thanksgiving is fantastic, in some ways it feels like it makes the already busy season leading up to Christmas last even longer. I would be in favor of moving Thanksgiving just a week or two earlier in November. It would free me up to focus a little more on Thanksgiving, and allow me a chance to catch my breath before diving into Advent and Christmas. (I remember from school that Pres. FDR tried this at one point, but it didn't go over very well.) But I know it's not all about me. So I'll continue to be grateful for a day focused on giving thanks, but I ask that you cut me a little slack if I seem a bit scatterbrained this week. Part of my mind is already in Advent.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#195 Never-ending Battle

Every once in a while I talk about my love of Superman on this blog. As a dedicated Superman fan, I really enjoy reading Superman comics. And while I have old favorites that I read over and over, I also like to read stories I haven't read before. After all, who knows when I'm going to discover a new favorite? So a couple years back I subscribed to DC Universe, which gives me digital access to thousands of comics, meaning I have no shortage of new-to-me comics to explore.

Last year I decided to jump in with the January 1987 issues of Superman, Adventures of Superman, and Action Comics. That's not an arbitrary starting point. In late 1986 Superman comics were essentially restarted. None of the previous years of stories were going to be referred to anymore. Everything was new again, and three Superman-specific titles were being published each month. So that first day I read three stories dated January 1987. The next day that I read, I read the stories from February 1987, and so on and so forth. For a few months I only had two titles to read at a time, but the third quickly came back. Then in the middle of 1991 a fourth title, Superman: The Man of Steel, was added, so that a new Superman story was being published just about every week. (Now if you're quick with numbers you may realize that only gives 48 issues per year, while a year actually has just over 52 weeks. Never fear! In 1995, a quarterly title, Superman: The Man of Tomorrow, was added to cover those remaining weeks.) Some days I don't read comics at all, and some days I read other stories, so I don't do this every day. But slowly but surely I've marched through the months, and today I read the stories dated December 1997, which means I've read 11 years' worth of Superman comics.

Now one of the interesting things about this era of Superman comics is that everything was treated as one continuing story. Even though there were four different books with four different writer/artist teams, they all worked together under a single editor. Sometimes a tale would begin in one title and continue the next week in the next title. At other times the four different books would be a little more independent, but there would still be little references to what was going on in other books and subplots would run through all four. As a reader, it's really cool to see how different threads from different writers are pulled together to create these big, sweeping adventures. It's rewarding to see new storylines that pick up on ideas planted weeks and even months earlier. Running a huge story for years and years gives lots of space for characters to develop and for new ideas to be explored.

But it's also easy to see how hard it is to keep telling one massive story for years and years. After a few years one writer might leave and another come in with a fresh perspective. Or a new artist might breathe new life into familiar characters. But it's hard to constantly come up with new challenges for our hero. Twists can start to feel more like gimmicks. Old villains can feel stale while new villains can feel less original and exciting than what's come before. Sometimes there seems to be unnecessary drama just to fill issues. Don't get me wrong: I'm still really enjoying my reading, but I'd say I'm less engaged going into 1998 than I was for the stories from 1991 or 1993 or even 1995. It seems I'm not alone in thinking this. I've been told that all four Superman books turn over their writers and artists in late 1999/early 2000, and the connections between the books begin to weaken. Eventually it's time to try a different approach.

As much as I'm excited about the next era of Superman, I know I'll miss this one that I've been reading. There's something sort of real, something true-to-life about a story that goes on and on and on. Superman and his friends build memories like we do. It's fun to have a ongoing, developing relationship with the characters. Sure, some adventures are more exciting than others, but our lives aren't always fantastic or interesting either. There's always hope for the future. And unlike in life, with comics I can always go back and revisit the old days, too. So the never-ending battle continues.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#194 The Challenge of Growth

As a Christian, I am supposed to become like Christ Jesus. This is God's plan for His people; this is why we take the name "Christian." But when I look at my life I don't feel very much like Jesus. Part of that is normal. It's a long journey from being sinful by nature and inclined to hate God and my neighbor to being holy and loving and perfect like Jesus. But other times after I've slipped back into sinful habits or given into temptation or lost control of my desires yet again, I think that it's embarrasing how little progress I've made in years of following Christ.

I'd like to become more like Jesus. At the very least, I think I want to become more like Jesus. But so often I struggle to live that out. I read the stories of Jesus—who He was and what kinds of things He did. I know God's commands and instructions for life as His child. But sometimes my effort seems terribly lacking. I think about making changes in my life and fail to follow through because sin is so much easier and more familiar. The Christian life isn't supposed to be easy; Jesus compares discipleship to taking up one's cross and losing one's life. Again and again I chicken out. Here's an example: I think I spend too much time on my phone. I'd like to change. But I don't take any drastic steps. I make vague promises to myself about trying to cut back, but I only follow through for a day or two if at all. So many times I end up thinking more about games I can play or articles I can read than how I can follow my Savior and Lord. That makes it hard to grow.

And to make matters worse, I also sometimes have these weird and clearly wrong feelings of thinking that I don't really need to grow all that much. I struggle to realize where and how badly I fail to live up to Jesus' standards. Returning to my example, I know there's a line between rightfully enjoying God's good gifts through things like hobbies and ignoring God and others by wasting my time. But in my mind, I'm pretty sure I draw that line where I want it instead of where God would say it is. It's so easy to take good things like hobbies—things that can even be beneficial for my mental health—and value or focus on them too much, turning them into idols that devastate my spiritual health. It's so easy to absorb the standards of the world around me and convince myself that those standards are the same as Jesus' standards.

I want to become more like Jesus. I want to be willing to make sacrifices for Him. I really believe He's worth it. I know I'm going to need help. I need to do a better job of seeking accountability from one or two close fellow Christians. And even more importantly, I need Jesus' help. There's good news here—thank the Lord! Jesus gives all of His people the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is always at work to transform me and help me grow. So I need to work as hard as I can at discipleship, at growing in Christlikeness. And at the same time I also need to trust the process, that the Spirit is refining me and bringing my new self to life. I can work with the confidence that God will finish His work, that through His power I will become what He wants me to be. Time to renew my commitment.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#193 Personal Records

When I was a sophomore in high school, my pastor and his wife gave us high schoolers notebooks to use as prayer journals. They encouraged us to take a few minutes each day and jot some things down in the books. They gave a few suggestions about things we could include but left room for us to do things in a way that fit our unique personalities. So I tried prayer journaling and found that I liked it. After about six months I moved to a new notebook and started writing a short paragraph prayer each day.

Thirteen years later I still write my journal almost every night. I've filled quite a few college ruled notebooks over the years. Every once in a while I'll flip back through an old book or two. Sometimes I'm able to use the journals to figure out on which day a certain event happened or determine what we did for some holiday last year. But the journals are less a record of daily events and more a record of my own thoughts and feelings, my dreams and questions and struggles and joys since I was about 16 years old.

It can be interesting to have a window into my own psyche years ago. Sometimes I can see growth in myself, noticing things that I stressed about in the past that no longer seem like such a big deal. And sometimes the prayer journal serves as a sobering reminder of areas where I still need growth, where I still make the same mistakes or wrestle with the same worries. There are places where I laugh at my younger self, and there are places that make me wish I still was as excited or passionate about some issue as I seemed to be then.

But as much as these prayer journals are my personal records, I find that I'm not the one I learn the most about as I read them. Again and again I get the feeling that God is really the main character in this long-running narrative. God is the one I address each day, normally as "Heavenly Father" but sometimes with a variety of other names and titles. Looking back I see how God answered these prayers, how God blessed me with these memories, gave me these successes, and helped me through these struggles. God provides hope; God forms character; God overcomes worry; God inspires praise. In all sorts of situations, with feelings of gratitude, guilt, fear, satisfaction, sorrow, joy, and more, I feel myself being drawn by God over and over. And like the psalm-writers of long ago, I learn that God is loving and faithful, compassionate and gracious, just and true. God shows that He is good.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#192 Caped Wonder Stuns City

After three years there's a new Superbabes in town! I am pleased to present some exciting pictures from our weekend adventures. You may find your experience more enjoyable if you view these photos while listening to the theme from Superman: The Animated Series (top) or the 1940s Max Fleischer Superman theatrical shorts (bottom).

Now on to the adventures! After noticing danger with her incredible super-vision, Superbabes quickly transformed out of her secret identity:

She flew to the rescue:

Using her remarkable strength, Superbabes quickly subdued a giant dog that was rampaging through town:

She broke some chains:

She paused for a moment, cape fluttering in the wind, before she overheard more trouble with her amazing super-hearing and flew off to save the day:

She used her fantastic x-ray vision to save a trapped puppy:

Her extraordinary feats completed, Superbabes continued to build trust with the public by answering a few questions from WGBS news:

Finally, she returned home, where she utilized her sensational heat vision to cook her dinner:

Stay tuned for further adventures of Superbabes, champion of the oppressed, who fights a neverending battle for truth and justice!

Grace and peace,

BMH

#191 Redemption

When I was a student at Trinity Christian College (Go Trolls!), we met for chapel twice a week in the Grand Lobby of our chapel building. This space had huge windows looking out towards the library, and hanging in front of these windows was a six-piece stained-glass mural called "Creation Redeemed." Here's a couple pictures:

(This is backwards, but it gives you a better look at the details.)

A red band weaves across the panels with a quote from Colossians 1:17: "He is before all things and in Christ all things hold together." I must have spent hours looking at that stained glass during my years at Trinity. I think that this artwork has had a profound impact on my theology. Reformed Christians (like me) believe that Jesus' work of redemption centers on saving His people from sin and death through His death and resurrection. But we believe that's not all. Jesus' redeeming work touches every area of life and every corner of creation as He claims all things under His authority. Or, to quote Ephesians 1:7-10: "In [Christ] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ."

As Christians we don't have some sort of spiritual life that's distinct from the rest of our lives. God cares about every part of our lives because the whole world belongs to God. God's people live for Him and do His work in every human field. God's work is cosmic in the sense that it encompasses everything. But God's work is also very down-to-earth because He calls us to point to Him and represent Him in our work, our families and relationships, our politics, our finances, our community involvement, our growth and learning, our hobbies. We can see signs of God's work and be His instruments as He carries out His purposes in business and broadcasting, in medicine and mechanics, in technology and trades, in engineering and ecology, in psychology and social work, in athletics and agriculture, in literature and law. Our God is great and grand. He is working to drive sin and evil out of every part of our lives and our world. God's love and power cover all things, giving us purpose and hope. God triumphs. God saves. God reigns.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#190 Putting Power to Use

A few weeks ago Tess and I listened to the podcast Nice White Parents. In this podcast, Chana Joffe-Walt tells the story of a school district—and particularly one middle school in that district—in New York City. Over the years, there's a lot of talk about integration and working for equality, but often very little actual progress gets made. Things really happen when the people who have power—in this case, the "nice white parents"—want them to happen. By the end of the series, Joffe-Walt says she thinks that bringing equality in general seems to require those who have power to work for a system that no longer gives them advantages.

As I thought about this idea, my mind quickly went to Philippians 2. Here's verses 3-8: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!"

What Jesus has done is very much what Joffe-Walt suggests. Jesus is God the Son. He has all power and authority. He deserves all glory and honor. We are weak humans, who again and again do wrong, sinning against Jesus. Jesus owes us nothing. But He humbles Himself. He empties Himself. He comes down from His heavenly throne and lives as a weak and limited human. He puts God's power to work to deliver people who were demon-possessed and heal people who were sick and restore people who were outcasts. Finally He humiliates Himsefl by dying on a cross. But through His death and resurrection, Jesus saves and forgives His sinful people. Jesus suffers so we who belong to Him may receive God's benefits. Jesus uses His power for us.

And Jesus calls His people, those of us who believe in Him, to imitate Him. If we have power (and sometimes we have more than we realize), we shouldn't cling to it for our own advantage. We should put our power to use for other's benefit. We should consider others' needs alongside and even before our own. That's not easy for me. I'm pretty sure that's not easy for any of us. It goes against human nature. But praise God, it fits exactly with God's nature. With God's Spirit's help, let's strive to be more like Jesus.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#189 Now What?

My job has changed a lot this year. (I know that's true for a huge number of people. I'm not here to claim that I have worse than everybody else. But I think there's some benefit to acknowledging our struggles and the pain they cause.) I spent about two months preaching to an almost empty sanctuary on Saturday evenings so we could make sure a video service was posted by Sunday morning. Now the congregation is gathering for the most part, but we're still missing a few of our members, and our worship services have been modified and slightly condensed. Those kinds of things are weird but not so bad.

The bigger change and the real struggle has come in the pastoral care part of my job. Church members used to gather in the basement for refreshments after Sunday morning worship, which gave me a chance to catch up with different people each week. Now we scatter pretty quickly. I used to visit church members in nursing homes and care facilities and in their own homes. Now I'm not allowed into buildings and many members are more comfortable if I don't come over. I've been trying to check in over the phone, but that's difficult and draining for me. I used to have some regular things that I did to be involved in my community and meet other people. But for now my normal activities have pretty much all gone away. I've always believed that meeting/visiting/caring for people inside and outside the church is vital and that it shapes how I preach and lead prayers. But lately I feel like I'm having to start all over, like I'm relearning everything about how to find and keep track of my people.

Right now I'm tired. I'm worn. Sometimes it seems like it's taking more effort to get less done. But I know that God has called me to this work, and I know that He is faithful. In the midst of all of this craziness I've had some really good conversations with church members and heard some wonderful stories of God's work in their lives. So I'm trying to endure. I'm trying to hold on to hope, to trust that God is in control, that He is present, that He brings healing and wholeness to our broken lives and our broken world. Come, Lord Jesus.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#188 R.I.P., Miller Park

We're taking a break from more serious blog topics to talk about baseball. Yesterday (Sep 20) was the last Milwaukee Brewers home game at Miller Park. (The Brewers are on the road the rest of the season and won't be hosting any playoff games this year.) Now the stadium isn't going anywhere; it's just being renamed as American Family Field next year. This is a huge bummer for me and for many other Brewers fans, too. Miller Park just made sense. Our team is named for people who make beer, so why shouldn't the stadium be named after a huge beer company? American Family Field isn't a terrible name, but it's not the same. Let's face it: after 20 years, I'm not just going to stop calling the building Miller Park. I understand that the Brewers get some serious money for selling the naming rights to the stadium, and I get that Miller had first dibs at keeping those rights, but I still don't have to like it. If we were building a new stadium, I could maybe learn to live with this, but I'm really against renaming our beloved ballpark. It'll always be Miller Park to me.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#187 Answer to Prayer

 I recently wrapped up a sermon series on the Lord's Prayer. As I've reflected on this prayer that Jesus taught (with quite a lot of help from a book by C. Clifton Black), I've come to the conclusion that the Lord's Prayer as a whole is about desiring God Himself.

(Our Father in heaven) We begin by reminding ourselves that God is our loving Father who knows what we need.

(Hallowed be your name.) Next we pray for ourselves and all people to know and praise God for His glory, His power, His holiness, His mercy, and all His other wonderful traits, as well as His great and compassionate deeds.

(Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it in heaven) Then we pray for God to end all opposition to Himself in our world and our lives. We ask God to fully establish His reign over all the earth, making all things the way He wants them to be, which is the way they should be.  We also ask that we and all people will live in obedience to God, recognizing that He knows what is good and right for us to do. God alone deserves to be our King and our Lord.

(Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.) In the second half of the prayer, we pray for God to remove anything that might keep us from Him. We pray for God to meet our everyday needs to keep us from doubting His goodness and power. We pray for forgiveness because our sins separate us from God, and we could never make ourselves right with God. We pray for God to protect us from trials and the power of the devil so that we won't be tempted to turn away from God to false gods. Basically we pray that God will clearly show His love and power in our lives, teaching us to rely on Him for everything we need.

(For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.) At the end of our prayer we focus on God once again, reminding ourselves that He never changes or fails, that His purposes will prevail for His glory and for the good of His people and His world.

I think the Lord's Prayer teaches us above all that we need God and that God is willing and able to provide us with all that we need. In prayer (whether we pray the Lord's Prayer or use other words), we seek God because God can always help us and shape us into who we should be. In the book of Luke, after Jesus teaches His followers the Lord's Prayer and gives a few other thoughts and instructions about prayer, He says, "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (11:13). God is every Christian's Father because Jesus makes us right with God through His death and resurrection. Jesus unites us with Himself, and His return to heaven assures us that God listens to our prayers. So when Christians pray, we can be sure that we will find the God we seek. God gives us His Holy Spirit. In that sense our prayers never go unanswered. We may ask not receive every specific thing we ask for (especially since we often don't know what to pray for or ask for things that aren't ultimately good for us), but we always get God Himself. God the Holy Spirit is with us, and God is always more than enough for us.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#186 Need to Be Better

Last week at the Republican National Convention, Vice President Mike Pence said, "So let’s run the race marked out for us. Let’s fix our eyes on Old Glory and all she represents. Let’s fix our eyes on this land of heroes and let their courage inspire. And let’s fix our eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith and our freedom and never forget that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (For the sake of reference, Hebrews 12:1-2 reads, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." And 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.")

Let me be absolutely clear: what Vice Pres. Pence did is wrong. It is not okay by any means. He has taken language about Jesus and applied it to the United States. Jesus deserves our ultimate allegiance. Jesus deserves all honor and glory. Jesus determines and models the values we should live by. The United States and its flag do not. To even imply that the United States shares these traits that only belong to our God is blasphemy. To think that the United States embodies the highest ideals for humanity and that true blessings and freedom follow from trusting and serving the nation is idolatry. America is a false god. Jesus Christ bought our salvation through His suffering and death on the cross and His resurrection, and so His Spirit brings His people freedom from sin and death, breaking the power the devil and evil hold over us who believe in Him. Political freedoms are definitely good, but comparing them with our freedom in Christ is laughable at best. From the Bible's perspective, every American who does not believe in Christian does not have freedom, no matter how many civil liberties she or he may enjoy.

Now I've picked on Vice Pres. Pence because he recently and very publicly sinned in this way. I'm not saying that Vice Pres. Pence is the worst politician ever or that no one else ever wrongly speaks about God and the United States. Nor am I saying that what Vice Pres. Pence has done is unforgivable. But we as Christians cannot support this. Vice Pres. Pence is very public about his faith in Jesus. He should know better. We as American Christians should not tolerate blasphemy and idolatry from our politicians. Americans are not the people of God. The United States is not God's kingdom. God's people are Christians throughout the world, the church in all places (and times). God's kingdom covers the whole world. There are a lot of good things about the United States, but it, like every other nation on earth, is twisted and broken by sin. We need to acknowledge the wrongdoing and evil that are present in the United States and that have been here throughout American history. The United States cannot save us. Only Jesus can. The United States cannot bring true freedom. Only Jesus can. Glory to God alone.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#185 End Times

During this COVID-19 outbreak I've heard people wondering about the end times. Is the rapid spread of this virus a sign that we're close to the end of the world? Are we living in the end times?

These kinds of discussions drive me nuts. So let's try to set the record straight. The Bible sometimes talks about world history in terms of two ages: the present age and the age to come. The present age covers history from creation until the time when Jesus returns and brings the new creation. The age to come begins with the ministry of Jesus and covers all eternity in God's kingdom. If you're paying close attention, you'll notice that those two ages overlap. We're living in that overlap. Ever since Jesus came, the present age has been coming to an end and the age to come is beginning. In biblical terms the answer to the question "are we living in the end times?" is yes. We've been living in the end times for approximately 2000 years. The writers of the New Testament (rightly) believed that they were already living in the end times. Acts 2:17 says, "In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people…" When the Spirit comes on God's people on Pentecost, Peter says that Joel's prophesy has been fulfilled. 10 days after Jesus' ascension, His people are living in the end times. Hebrews 1:2 says "in these last days [God] has spoken to us by His Son." John writes, "Dear children, this is the last hour" in 1 John 2:18. These are the end times because we are no longer waiting for Jesus' first coming and His redeeming/saving work. We are waiting for His return and the completion of God's plan.

Also, the idea that we can use COVID-19 or some other world event to determine exactly when Jesus will return is ridiculous. Jesus says we can't figure it out: "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father…. Therefore, keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come…. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him (Matthew 24:36, 42, 44). And in 1 Thessalonians 5:2, Paul says the day of Jesus' return will come "like a thief in the night." This is not something that we can predict or figure out. God tells us in the Bible that we must live in such a way that we are prepared for Jesus to return at any moment. The time to live for Jesus is now. Trying to determine when this will happen is irresponsible and bad theology.

So let's stop worrying about the end times. Of course we're living in the end times. Let's worry about living like Jesus and living for Jesus to the best of our ability, because our lives belong to Him.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#184 Fruit Troubles

I really enjoy eating fresh fruit. I've almost never encountered a fruit that I didn't like. Each year I look forward to all the different fruits that are in season during the summer. Since I generally do the grocery shopping in our family, I try to get a nice variety of fruits to eat throughout the week. There's just one slight problem: my family doesn't share my enthusiasm for fruit. Tess really only eats what I call "boring" fruits: apples, bananas, oranges, grapes. Lanie is three years old and often doesn't want to branch out, so she'll convince herself that she doesn't like something before she even tries it. And Mia isn't eating solid food yet. So sometimes I want to eat something like kiwis or cherries, but my grocery store only carries packages of a dozen kiwis or two-pound bags of cherries. Unable to convince my family to share the fruity goodness, I end up eating kiwis or cherries every day for a week, by which point I'm glad they're gone. So my dreams of variety don't always work out as smoothly as I hope. Maybe someday my kids will be ready and willing to share with me.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#183 Playoffs!

Baseball is back! (Well, at least it is when I'm writing this on Monday evening. I've been seeing reports of quite a few postive test results from Miami, so we'll see if this lasts.) In the  time leading up to baseball's return, I saw some murmurs on the internet that this season's champion wouldn't be legitimate because of the shortened season. (I've seen similar arguments leveled at the NBA's return. I would imagine that the NHL has these grumblings as well.) Some people are up in arms that the best team might not win because we'll lose 102 games (at least) that help separate the better teams from worse teams.

To these people I say: I'm not sure you understand the point of playoffs. Major American sports have playoffs so that the best team doesn't always win. We like it that way. If we wanted the best time to win every year, we'd skip the playoffs and just hand the trophy to the team with the best record at the end of the season. Sports actually used to work that way. We, the sports-loving people of America, decided we weren't crazy about that. So we instituted playoffs. Maybe the most talented team won't win the World Series this year. Good! (Side note: I don't think my beloved Brewers have ever been the most talented team in baseball [with the possible exception of 1982], so I'm all for giving other teams a chance.) If there were no upsets, we wouldn't watch sports. The regular season schedules are designed to be about as fair as they can be. Everybody plays the same number of games. If you want to be champion, you've got to win. Don't come crying to me about being more talented if you lose. Go out there and prove it on the field!

And as always, go Brewers!

Grace and peace,
BMH

P.S. Now if you want to complain about MLB expanding the playoffs this year, that's a different matter. I don't like that, but we don't have time for that right now….

#182 Seven Years

Tess and I have been married for seven years today. (I think the proper response is to congratulate me and tell Tess how sorry you are for her.) A lot has happened in the past seven years. About a month into marriage we truly moved out on our own and started our own home in Grand Rapids, MI. I started seminary. Tess got her first "real" full-time job. Tess got a different job. We spent a summer interning in Washington. I finished seminary. We moved to Iowa so I could begin my first "real" full-time job. We had a baby. We had another baby. With the possible exception of some time in between Lanie's birth and Mia's birth, we've been in a pretty constant state of transition.

But let me tell you, the past seven years have been wonderful. I don't think even a single day has gone by in this stretch that hasn't been made better because Tess is in my life. The bad days aren't as bad as they could be, and the good days are even better than they would be if I was alone. Without Tess I don't know how I would've made it through all those transitions. Even this year seems unimaginable without Tess. After Mia was born I didn't feel like I was truly able to relax until Tess and I were together again in Des Moines. For the past few months COVID-19 has reconfigured my work life—changing the way our worship services work, limiting my ability to visit church members, putting much of my volunteering on hold—but Tess has been with me through it all. She's listened. She's encouraged. She's supported. Being the only pastor at a church can be a very lonely job, but every day I come home and I'm no longer alone.

Long story short, if we somehow went back time, I would marry Tess again in a heartbeat. After seven years, I'm excited to see what's yet to come.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#181 He Did All This for You, Little One

Yesterday Mia Grace Hofman was baptized. Since I am an ordained minister, I had the incredible privilege of administering the sacrament (or, in less official church language, I did the baptizing). I love the sacraments. In my Christian tradition, we have two: baptism and the Lord's Supper. We believe that God confirms His promises to us through the sacraments. He nourishes and strengthens our faith by making His grace visible and tangible through the water of baptism and the bread and cup of the Lord's Supper.

One of the things baptism symbolizes is our new life in Christ Jesus. We are saved because Jesus unites us to Himself in His death and resurrection. Going under and coming back out of the water points to our dying and rising with Christ. Baptism challenges us to respond (and really demands our response) to God's grace by turning from our old, sinful, selfish life and following Jesus in a new, holy, loving life. In a very real sense, we no longer live; Christ lives in us. But we only respond to God's actions. We can't earn our new life, our salvation. This is entirely a gift of God. When it comes to saving ourselves we are helpless. In my tradition, we baptize the babies of Christian parents, which reminds us that our salvation is completely God's work. As our liturgy beautifully says, "[Dear child], for you Jesus came into the world. For you He died and conquered death. He did all this for you, little one, though you know nothing of it yet. We love because He first loved us." God saves us because He loves us. He did everything necessary to save us long before we can even begin to realize we need saving. He decided to save us before we were even born. Seeing a small and fragile baby be marked as God's child and welcomed into Christ's church reminds us all that we are helpless without Jesus, that we have become God's children only because of God's grace. He did it for us.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#180 Misery

In my branch of Christianity we have a statement of faith called the Heidelberg Catechism. It's a series of (generally) short questions and answers that covers a lot of the basics of what we believe. I really love the second question and answer. (I'd like to tell you Q&A 2 is my favorite, but that's Q&A 1, which says that our only comfort in life and in death is belonging body and soul to our faithful Savior Jesus Christ. That's everybody's favorite. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.)

The catechism asks, "What must you know to live and die in the joy of this comfort?" Then it answers, "Three things: first, how great my sin and misery are; second, how I am set free from all my sins and misery; third, how I am to thank God for such deliverance."

That first part can seem like it's coming out of left field. To have comfort and joy, I must know how great my sin and misery are, and you must know how great your sin and misery are. How does that add up? We don't like to focus on sin or misery. It's one thing to know that the world is miserable—creation is broken and often harsh, society is twisted and corrupt. It's often easy for us to know that other people are sinful—human beings are fallen and inclined toward all sorts of evil. But knowing those things isn't really enough. If I am truly going to believe the good news of Jesus Christ and receive life and peace in Him, I need to understand how sinful and miserable I am. (And the same goes for you, too.) I am wicked and self-destructive. I sin again and again and again, and on my own I can't stop, no matter how hard I try. (And to be honest, left to my own devices I don't try that hard or for all that long.) My sins deserve death. I face troubles and sorrows and disasters that I can't escape under my own power. Understanding my sin and misery properly sends me running to Christ Jesus, the only one who can rescue me. Understanding my sin and misery properly helps me truly understand God's grace in delivering me. Understanding my sin and misery apart from Christ makes me truly want to thank Him by living a transformed life with His help and His power. One of the amazing things about our God is that He can make misery a good thing by using misery to lead us to Him and His salvation. There's some comfort for you.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#179 The Man of Tomorrow

I received a Superman book for Father's Day (shocking, I know): Superman Smashes the Klan. The book adapts a story from the old Superman radio show. In 1946, the Lee family moves from Chinatown into the main section of Metropolis. There they face hatred and harassment from the Klan of the Fiery Kross. Superman, Inspector Henderson, and the staff at The Daily Planet work to defend the Lees and expose the Klan. This wonderful story about resisting racism and welcoming others really resonated with me because of our current discussions about race in the U.S. (see my last post for more thoughts on that).

In the book, the Grand Scorpion of the Klan of the Fiery Kross believes that white people are superior, and he tries to argue that "you cannot unite a nation of people who share neither blood nor history." During his climactic confrontation with Superman, he stresses his point again: "The Lees aren't "your own"! You share no blood with them! No history! There is literally nothing that binds you together! That has been the Klan's point all along! A nation bound by nothing cannot last!"

Superman knows how to respond to this: "But we are bound together. The Lees and I… our friends at The Daily Planet and the Unity House and the police department… everyone down there, really… We are bound together by the future. We all share the same tomorrow."

I love that little speech. I think Superman's words here reflect the reality of the church in some ways. We who believe in Jesus are diverse. We come from different nations and cultures and backgrounds. We share some broad basics—our common humanity, our sinfulness, the saving death and life of Jesus—but we aren't all natural family members or friends or even allies. Some of us were enemies in the past. Some of our histories seem about as different from others' as we can get. But Jesus gives us a shared future. He calls us to work together as citizens of His kingdom. He inspires us to love each other as sisters and brothers in His family. And He promises us all life together with Him. Reconciliation is at the heart of Jesus' work. He reconciles His people to God. And He reconciles us to each other. Jesus gives us a shared and better tomorrow.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#178 I Don't Have the Answers

So it's been a while. Since I'm writing for the first time in a month, I guess this blog isn't totally dead, but I've been struggling with what to say lately. I've been thinking quite a bit about racism and its prevalence in American society. I've kicked around different ideas for a new post. I could write about how racism is a sin and how God overcomes our sinful divisions to gather His people from every race and ethnicity into a new humanity. I could write about how God is a God who opposes injustice and oppression, a God who cares for and defends those who are mistreated and forgotten. I could write about our common humanity and how we are better off when we welcome and learn from people who we view as different from us.

But the more I think, the more I feel that I shouldn't do any of those things. The thing is, I'm a white person living in a country where white people have had power and control for a long, long time. I haven't experienced the pain of racism. I don't know the way forward. As a white person, and more importantly as a Christian, I believe I do need to say that racism is real and wrong. Racism is in the hearts and words and actions of individuals—including me, I'm sure, in ways I'm not aware of—and racism is in the structures and systems of our society. But if I'm truly going to stand against racism, I need to listen to others. I need to follow others' lead. I need to learn more and more. This is going to take a while, so I better start now. If you're in a position similar to mine, I hope you'll join me. Let's not give up when the news cycle moves on. And if you're in a position where you can teach, correct, and call me out, do it. Don't let me be silent or ignorant. Don't let me move on.

Black lives matter. I know those words carry a lot of baggage for some people, but let's set that aside for now. That statement is absolutely true. I'm sorry that my actions and inactions have contributed to a culture where Black people feel like their lives don't matter to others. Black lives matter to God. I want to live in a world where nobody—myself included—needs to be reminded of that. I want to do my part now. Father, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#177 Teach Us to Pray

"Lord, teach us to pray," Jesus' disciples say in Luke 11. Jesus responds by giving His disciples the shorter form of what we call the Lord's Prayer. (The longer form, the one Christians tend to memorize, is found in Matthew 6.) Jesus teaches us to pray through the model He gives in the Lord's Prayer as well as the other prayers we find in the Bible, such as the psalms. But I think Jesus teaches us to pray in other ways, too.

A couple months ago I encountered a quote by J. Neville Ward: "The purification of desire, the education of human wanting, is one of the principal ways in which God answers prayer." That quote has stuck with me. I think I've experienced that in my life. Last week I wrote about how the Holy Spirit is always at work in the lives of Christians to make us more like Jesus. According to Romans 8, the Holy Spirit prays for and with us. Sometimes I come to prayer angry or stressed or fearful or desperate. Sinful and selfish person that I am, sometimes I want vengeance or an easy way out of my troubles or the freedom to do whatever I want. But when I begin to pray the Holy Spirit often changes me. The Spirit reminds me that God is in control, that I am in God's presence. Suddenly those selfish, sinful prayers don't seem as appealing. If I pray them I'll soon end up confessing. And many times I don't actually pray them at all. Instead I'll ask God to work in my heart and show me my faults. I'll ask for strength to endure or growth in Christlikeness or God's blessing on people who have really been bothering me. It doesn't happen all the time; I'm far from perfect. But after years of trying to pray and learn what God wants by reading the Bible, I find that God is answering my prayers by shaping how pray, by purifying what I pray for. And that makes me want to know and love God even more.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#176 Transformation

Let's talk about sanctification. Sanctification is a big word that refers to the process of becoming holy. When Christians talk about sanctification, we talk about becoming like Jesus. Christians are called to love like Jesus loved us. Now clearly we are all a looooong way from that standard. Everybody fails to love again and again. I do. You do. We all do. A large portion of the letters in the New Testament deal with sanctification, teaching us how we should live. God calls us to leave behind our sinful ways and imitate Jesus. By following Jesus' example we live the way God has created us to live and we show Jesus our gratitude for saving us. But becoming like Jesus is a long and difficult process for us. We need to work to be less selfish, less hateful, less greedy, less lustful. We need to strive to be more loving, more honest, more content, more merciful. Sometimes we do well, and sometimes we don't. Sanctification can be extremely frustrating. We can seem hopeless.

But there's good news. Once Jesus saves us, He doesn't say, "Okay, figure out how to become a better person," and leave us on our own. Jesus sends us His Holy Spirit. We have to work on our sanctification. But the Holy Spirit, who lives in us, is also working on our sanctification. It's a team effort. The Holy Spirit works with us, in us, even at times in spite of us, transforming us to be more like Jesus. We still have to try, but it's not all up to us. The Holy Spirit won't give up and won't fail. That's a huge comfort. It's like God rubs off on us over time. Sometimes consciously and sometimes without realizing it we learn to care about others' pain, to be forgiving, to honor God, to put God first. Sometimes our growth may be so slow that we can't see it, but the Holy Spirit never stops. For the rest of our lives our sanctification will continue. When Jesus returns, He will finish His work. We will be like Him; we will be complete. That's a goal worth working toward. That's a hope worth holding on to.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#175 Alternative Order

Did you know that Christians and Jews have the books of the Hebrew Bible (what Christians call the Old Testament) in a different order? I recently finished reading through the Old Testament following the Hebrew arrangement. It looks like this:

Law: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy
Prophets: Joshua, Judges, Samuel, Kings, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi
Writings: Psalms, Job, Proverbs, Ruth, Song of Songs, Ecclesiastes, Lamentations, Esther, Daniel, Ezra, Nehemiah, Chronicles

A couple things to note: First, Joshua-Kings are considered the Former Prophets, while Isaiah-Malachi are considered the Latter Prophets. Second, Daniel is not counted as a prophetic book in Jewish understanding.

I would strongly recommend reading the Old Testament in this order. If you've read the whole OT before, doing things slightly differently can keep it feeling fresh for you. But there are some other benefits. For one thing, the transition between Kings and Isaiah works really well. After reading through the story of the fall of the kingdoms of Israel and Judah, you move right into prophetic books that speak about the reasons why God brought the judgment of exile on His people as well as giving hope for future restoration. For another thing, the bleak yet hopeful outlooks of Ecclesiastes and Lamentations pair well together. Finally, Chronicles serves as a really good springboard into Matthew and the New Testament. The stories of David's dynasty of kings prepare you for the coming of Jesus, the Son of David. Plus, Chronicles, ends with a note of God's faithfulness in light of His people's unfaithfulness, a beautiful setup for God's ultimate display of faithfulness and rescue in the saving work of Jesus, the Messiah. Give it a try!

Grace and peace,
BMH

#174 Confessions of a Sleepy Dad

Obvious statement alert: parenting is tiring. Right now Tess and I have a three-year-old, Lanie, who almost never runs out of energy, and a nearly three-month-old, Mia, who still wakes up pretty often at night. Sometimes I'm stressed about work and Lanie is whining, and I think that running away and hiding from her for about an hour sounds pretty good. Or I'll be half-asleep and Mia will just keep crying instead of giving in and falling asleep, and I'll    practically be able to feel the warmth of my sheets and comforter.

But then Mia will calm down after I finish changing her diaper and smile at me for a few moments. Or Lanie will climb into my lap with a book and snuggle up to me while we read. Then suddenly the weight of the exhaustion and the frustration melts away. I remember just how much I love my girls. Here's another obvious statement: parenting is worthwhile.

Grace and peace,

BMH

#173 Tire-d Teammates

The other day a memory from my days as a college runner popped into my head, and I thought it I'd share it with you. During my junior year my teammates and I went out for a nine-mile run. (If that distance sounds extreme to you, don't fret. It was pretty normal for us.) It was a beautiful sunny day, and we settled into a comfortable pace that wouldn't make the run take forever but would still allow us to chat. About two miles in, we were a little off the beaten path when we came upon a bunch of abandoned car tires lying in the grass. Suddenly one of us had an idea: what if we picked up one of those tires? Now after spending hours and hours running together, we had developed a sort of mob mentality, and we had gradually become more and more willing to do pretty much anything to keep our runs from getting too boring or routine. So somebody picked up a tire, and the rest of us—whether verbally or not—just sort of agreed to haul it the rest of the way. We carried it and rolled it and passed it back and forth across fields and through neighborhoods and along paths. We took turns; whenever somebody got tired or just sick of the thing, we'd hand it over. By the time we got back to campus and deposited the tire in our locker room, the stupid thing had become a symbol of our unity. (Side note: Later that week I had a conflict with practice that forced me to run by myself earlier in the day. I left my teammates a joke on our whiteboard about deciding against picking up another hunk of rubber because I didn't want to be "two-tired." [Hey, I never said it was a good joke.])

During this time of COVID-19, let this story be a reminder. Together we can do some pretty dumb things. But difficult things also become easier when we commit to doing them together.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#172 Music Magic

I am obsessed with The Lord of the Rings. I could spend the rest of the year blogging about how great of a story I think it is. I love the books. I love the movies—not quite as much, of course. I think the best thing about the movies is Howard Shore's incredible musical score. Here's a pretty good sample piece: "The Journey to the Grey Havens" from The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King—The Complete Recordings.

Listen to this piece as you read the rest of this blog. At the beginning we get a recap of a couple of the main themes from the series. In the middle there's a bittersweet section as some of our heroes say goodbye. Then the piece ends with a quietly hopeful and triumphant melody.

I have the complete recordings of the soundtracks for all three movies on my laptop. There's about 10 hours of music all told. The music covers everything: action, despair, reflection, fear, joy, longing, hope. There are so many themes, and they are all amazing. Howard Shore is brilliant. (He's so good he won the Academy Award for best original score for two movies in the same trilogy, both The Fellowship of the Ring and The Return of the King.)

Over the past few years I've repeatedly found myself listening to the complete recordings for The Lord of the Rings as Good Friday and Easter approach. As I get busy I find it soothing to listen to such familiar instrumental music, and having 10 hours of it comes in handy when I'm juggling the work for multiple services. But I also find this listening to be fitting. See, The Lord of the Rings is all about the triumph of good over evil, paving the way for the world to be set right. Each year during Good Friday and Easter we celebrate the triumph of good over evil in the climactic death and resurrection of Christ Jesus, which paves the way for the world to be set right.

I chose "The Journey to the Grey Havens" above because it's one of the last pieces on the last soundtrack, and the ending always get stuck in my head. But I think it's a fitting piece for the season of Easter in this very upside-down world. There's a lot of obvious bitterness and brokenness and pain right now, but because of Jesus' resurrection we have hope. Hope that the new heavens and the new earth are just beyond the horizon of this tired old world. Hope that all will be made right. Hope that, as Sam Gamgee says in The Return of the King, everything sad is going to come untrue. Jesus is risen! And because He lives, we also will live.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#171 Reading and Thinking

Pastor life is different without having worship services in the sanctuary on Sunday mornings. For the past few weeks I haven't seen the other members of our congregation during sermons or post-worship coffee time or even home visits during the rest of the week. It's been weird. Like many other pastors and churches I've been trying to come up with new and/or different ways to stay in touch with church members. I would not claim to have legendary creativity, especially now when we have a new baby at home, but I've landed on something that I think is working okay. Back in the middle of February, before society came crashing to a halt, our church started printing suggested daily Bible readings in the bulletin in an effort to encourage continued spiritual growth among our members. We're about halfway through a roughly 100-day plan that hops around Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John for an overview of Jesus' ministry. So for each day I've been recording a video of myself reading that day's passage and then offering a brief comment on something that stood out to me in the reading. I keep things simple and don't do any research, but I find that making the videos helps me think about each passage a little more deeply than I might if I was simply reading them. I hope that my little videos are beneficial for whoever watches them, but at least I know they're helping me get deeper into God's Word.

Grace and peace,
BMH

P.S. If you're interested, you can find my videos on Kanawha CRC's Facebook page or YouTube channel.

#170 Patience

Poor Lanie is going through the difficult process of adjusting to having a younger sibling at home. Again and again Tess and I have to ask her to wait or tell her to hold on because we're busy taking care of Mia. Yesterday, Lanie finally reached a tipping point. She asked for a snack, only to hear Tess say, "You need to learn patience." And dear sweet Lanie stretched out flat on her back on the floor and cried, "I don't want to learn patience!" As I started to laugh and laugh and laugh I thought, "I can relate to that." I don't want to learn patience either.

Hopefully your experience with the COVID-19 outbreak hasn't caused you any more trouble than making you impatient. And if you are struggling with patience, take heart. Lanie knows just how you feel.

Grace and peace,
BMH

#169 Discharge

Last Wednesday (March 18), Mia was discharged from Blank Children's Hospital. The Hofman family is finally home! We are so grateful for God's love and faithfulness to us over the past month and a half. Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us. Mia spent 41 days in the NICU. This was an incredibly difficult and stressful time for us, an experience that I'm sure Tess and I will never forget. But, praise God, Mia was really a champ the whole time. She didn't have many setbacks and had no real serious concerns. Learning to eat took a few weeks, but little by little, bit by bit she gained weight and strength. Finally everything clicked for Mia early last week.

After weeks and weeks of NICU life, packing up our belongings at the hospital and the Ronald McDonald House and loading them into our van was bizarre. After one last bottle in the hospital, Mia got her sensors removed. We strapped her into her carseat, and then things started to feel very surreal. I carried Mia out of her room and out of the NICU. After I drove the van up, Tess carried Mia out of the hospital. We were free!

Look, Mom: No wires! 

Ready to go home!

While it took Mia nearly six weeks to make it home from the hospital, we still weren't expecting her to be here yet. We will need to watch her pretty closely for a little while to make sure she continues to gain weight. And after having nurses caring for Mia for so long, we're still adjusting to sleeping in the same room as Mia and getting up with her in the middle of the night. But we are so happy to be home. We are beyond excited to have Lanie back with us again. And we are so, so grateful that Mia is healthy. Our NICU adventure is done. Now it's on the next one.

Mommy happy to be home with her girls

Grace and peace,
BMH