#64 Power and Perversion

Lately the news has been filled with people stepping forward with stories of sexual harassment, sexual misconduct, and sexual assault. These stories are repulsive and horrifying. However, I think it is good that they come to light to keep us from ignoring the sin and evil in our midst. These stories of improper sexual behavior should lead us to some honest reflection.

First, I think we need to take these accusations seriously. When it comes to the courts, a person is rightfully considered innocent until proven guilty. We must remember that when dealing with the alleged perpetrators. But we must be especially careful not to dismiss those who come forward as victims with accusations. We should respect their courage to report deeply painful and often embarrassing stories, even if these reports come many years after the fact. Such serious accusations deserve careful investigation. Such terrible violations of privacy and intimacy should have consequences. Sexual aggression and misbehavior are not unforgivable, but we can't forget or ignore the great harm caused by these actions.

Second, I think we need to take a close look at how we think about, talk about, teach, and practice sex. Again and again these stories tell of powerful people exploiting their power for their own pleasure. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I think a big part of problem is that our society believes that sex is something we need and something we deserve. We—maybe especially we males—are taught that we have the right to have sex. Sex is treated as something to be taken or gotten or won—whenever, however, and with whomever we want. So we think it's a sign of our power to have go farther sexually or to be sexually intimate with more people. We think power can and should be used to satisfy our sexual desires.

But those ideas are perversions. They're wrong, plain and simple. Sex is not about power or right. When sexual activity arises out of a power imbalance, we've done wrong because someone is being mistreated and used. Sex is supposed to be given and shared. Sex is about intimacy. Sex really involves weakness; it's a gift of being able to be naked and vulnerable with someone else. We don't need sex to live, and we sure don't have the right to it. When it comes to sex, God wants us to be concerned for our partner's well-being before our own, just as God wants us to put others before ourselves in everything else. We need to stop believing lies about sex. Outside of God's instructions, we only hurt each other and get hurt ourselves. We need to stop turning a blind eye toward sexual misbehavior and violence. With God's help we need to control ourselves before anyone else experiences awful trauma, pain, and shame.

Grace and peace,
BMH