Lately Lanie has been all about playing with her baby dolls. She feeds them bottles, swaddles them, tucks them in, reads them books, and kisses them good night. Honestly, it's adorable.
One day while Lanie was playing with her baby, the following conversation took place:
Tess: Lanie, do you think Mommy and Daddy should have another baby?
Lanie: [shakes her head no]
Me: Lanie, do you want to be an only child?
Lanie: [shakes her head no]
Me: Then Mommy and Daddy need to have another baby. Do you want Mommy and Daddy to have another baby?
Lanie: [pauses, thinks for a little bit]
Lanie: [nods her head yes]
Good thing Tess and I aren't putting Lanie in charge of our decision-making process when it comes to having another kid. She's pretty unconvinced about the whole thing.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Monday, October 22, 2018
Monday, October 15, 2018
#104 Sin Is NEVER "Okay"
I've heard quite a bit of discussion about sexual harrassment and sexual assault over the past couple of years. This came up again with the allegations against Justice Brett Kavanaugh. I heard some comments along the lines of "It was a stupid mistake made years ago. Who didn't do something stupid as a kid?" and "Boys will be boys." I don't want to assume too much about what the people who made those comments meant, but those comments sound like, "It's okay." Here's my response to that: "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! NOOOOOOOO! You CAN'T say that!"
Let me explain. First, sexual assault is NOT okay. It's not. As Christians, we CANNOT give the impression that it is. Look at all the trouble the Roman Catholic branch of the church has gotten in because of sexual assault. Someone in the U.S. is sexaully assaulted every 98 seconds. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Survivors of sexual assault are everywhere, and this trauma often affects the rest of their lives. We can't act like these survivors should just be able to forget their assault or let it go. I can't imagine sexual assault survivors will want to come to our churches if we don't clearly and consistently speak against sexual assault. The church should provide hope for God's healing to sexual assault survivors. (Note: I am well aware that Justice Kavanaugh has not been convicted of sexual assault. I am not assuming his guilt. What I'm saying is we should say that what he is accused of is a horrible thing.)
Second, sin is NOT okay. It is not a minor thing. We should not confuse God's grace with an indifference to sin. Sin is a big deal to God, and it should be to us. For one thing, I don't think there are very many sins that actually don't hurt someone else. For example, it's difficult to have lustful thoughts and not begin to think of and treat other people more like objects. Even sins that don't hurt others still hurt us. They destroy our conscience and pull us away from God. They make us more self-absorbed (especially if we think we can get away with no consequences), which isn't good. And most importantly, all sins offend God. To quote the Heidelberg Catechism (Q&A 11), all sins are "committed against His supreme majesty." When we sin, we essentially flip God the middle finger and say, "We'll decide what's right and wrong for ourselves, thanks. We know better than you." That is a BIG deal. That's such a big deal that the only reason we can be forgiven is because God Himself, without losing His divinity, became a human being and died for our sins. Let me say that again: our sins are so serious that it took the perfect Son of God dying to take care of them. God in His grace doesn't just let sin go; He still justly and rightly punishes it. God in His grace takes our punishment Himself.
That must shape how we talk about sin. There is no sin that is not forgivable. Sexual assault is forgivable. Racism is forgivable. Murder is forgivable. But these sins are NOT okay. They, like all sins, are absolutely horrible. They can be forgiven only through the unequalable victory of Christ Jesus' death and resurrection. To treat sin—any sin—like it's not a big deal is too cheapen the sacrifice and triumph of our Lord and Savior. To say that sin is okay is to lie about God. We CAN'T do that. We who have been forgiven must be willing to forgive others when they sin against us. (Important side note: It's not our place to offer forgiveness when someone else has been sinned against. We can still testify about God's forgiveness in Jesus, but those who have been sinned against should offer forgiveness.) But when we do, we should say, "I forgive you," not "It's okay." There's a huge difference between those two statements. Only if we treat sin as seriously as we should, can we truly understand just how amazing God's grace is.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Let me explain. First, sexual assault is NOT okay. It's not. As Christians, we CANNOT give the impression that it is. Look at all the trouble the Roman Catholic branch of the church has gotten in because of sexual assault. Someone in the U.S. is sexaully assaulted every 98 seconds. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Survivors of sexual assault are everywhere, and this trauma often affects the rest of their lives. We can't act like these survivors should just be able to forget their assault or let it go. I can't imagine sexual assault survivors will want to come to our churches if we don't clearly and consistently speak against sexual assault. The church should provide hope for God's healing to sexual assault survivors. (Note: I am well aware that Justice Kavanaugh has not been convicted of sexual assault. I am not assuming his guilt. What I'm saying is we should say that what he is accused of is a horrible thing.)
Second, sin is NOT okay. It is not a minor thing. We should not confuse God's grace with an indifference to sin. Sin is a big deal to God, and it should be to us. For one thing, I don't think there are very many sins that actually don't hurt someone else. For example, it's difficult to have lustful thoughts and not begin to think of and treat other people more like objects. Even sins that don't hurt others still hurt us. They destroy our conscience and pull us away from God. They make us more self-absorbed (especially if we think we can get away with no consequences), which isn't good. And most importantly, all sins offend God. To quote the Heidelberg Catechism (Q&A 11), all sins are "committed against His supreme majesty." When we sin, we essentially flip God the middle finger and say, "We'll decide what's right and wrong for ourselves, thanks. We know better than you." That is a BIG deal. That's such a big deal that the only reason we can be forgiven is because God Himself, without losing His divinity, became a human being and died for our sins. Let me say that again: our sins are so serious that it took the perfect Son of God dying to take care of them. God in His grace doesn't just let sin go; He still justly and rightly punishes it. God in His grace takes our punishment Himself.
That must shape how we talk about sin. There is no sin that is not forgivable. Sexual assault is forgivable. Racism is forgivable. Murder is forgivable. But these sins are NOT okay. They, like all sins, are absolutely horrible. They can be forgiven only through the unequalable victory of Christ Jesus' death and resurrection. To treat sin—any sin—like it's not a big deal is too cheapen the sacrifice and triumph of our Lord and Savior. To say that sin is okay is to lie about God. We CAN'T do that. We who have been forgiven must be willing to forgive others when they sin against us. (Important side note: It's not our place to offer forgiveness when someone else has been sinned against. We can still testify about God's forgiveness in Jesus, but those who have been sinned against should offer forgiveness.) But when we do, we should say, "I forgive you," not "It's okay." There's a huge difference between those two statements. Only if we treat sin as seriously as we should, can we truly understand just how amazing God's grace is.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Monday, October 8, 2018
#103 People Are Complicated
I read a fair amount of comic books. If you read my blog regularly, you might've noticed that I'll make at least a passing reference to comics once or twice a month. A lot of comic characters are pretty clearly good or bad. There are some characters who are a mix of good and bad, and I would say on the whole characters are more complicated now than they were in, say, the 1950s and 1960s. But still, in comics there are heroes and villains, and it often isn't hard to tell the difference.
I think that we like to think the world works that way. We like to assume people are either good or bad—period. Generally that means we think we're good and people we like are good while people we don't like are bad. But flesh-and-blood human beings aren't comic characters. People are complicated, and I think we really need to remember that right now. All of us are a mixture of good and bad. If we lose sight of that, we end up in some pretty unhelpful places.
Let's take the whole Justice Brett Kavanaugh debate as an example. Here a group of us seemed to believe that if Kavanaugh sexually assaulted Ms. Christine Blasey Ford as she testified, there was no way he could be a good Supreme Court Justice. But nobody is all bad. As a Christian, I believe that the Holy Spirit graciously keeps us and our world from being as wicked as we could be. We'd like to think that the most moral people would be the most skilled and successful people, but things don't always work that way. You could be the kindest and most loving baker in history but still make dry and bland cupcakes. Or you could be the most selfish and bitter author ever to live but still write amazingly beautiful and touching poetry. Now our good qualities may not be redeeming enough to make others want to be around us, but all of us are capable of doing what is right and doing things well.
On the other hand, a group of us seemed to believe that if Kavanaugh is a respectable person as he and others argued, there was no way he could have done something like commit sexual assault. But nobody is all good. As a Christian, I believe that sin and evil infect every single part of our lives. We'd like to think that we or others we look up to could never do something horribly wrong, but that is not the truth. The evil that we hate in others is inside us, too. Every single on us does things that are wrong. What's more, every single one of us is capable of things we would consider monstrous and horrible. I doubt it would take you long to think of a respected religious or political leader who committed sexual assault or who was deeply racist or sexist. By the grace of God, very few of us will go so far as to do something like take another person's life, but every single one of us wishes someone else were dead at some point, and all of us could murder if we had a bad enough week and let go of our restraints.
So we can't just hero-worship others. The very best of us have flaws and faults that are not respectable in the least. But we can't just dismiss others, either. The very worst of us have gifts and capabilities to help others. Nobody's perfect, and nobody's worthless. We need to be honest about ourselves and others. Seeing the good in others is important if we're going to love and care for them as we should. And seeing the bad in others is important to keep us from trusting them too much or allowing them to hurt someone else. We're all complicated people, neither as good nor as bad as we could be. Those who are supposedly the best of us and those who are supposedly the worst of us are much more similar than different. That should make us humble and careful. Most of all that should make us grateful that God offers us forgiveness us in Christ Jesus, that He shows what it means to be good, and that through the Holy Spirit He helps us to be better than we could be on our own.
Grace and peace,
BMH
P.S. I've got more I'd like to say about sin and its effect on our lives, but this is getting long, so I better save that for next week. Thanks for making it this far, complicated readers.
I think that we like to think the world works that way. We like to assume people are either good or bad—period. Generally that means we think we're good and people we like are good while people we don't like are bad. But flesh-and-blood human beings aren't comic characters. People are complicated, and I think we really need to remember that right now. All of us are a mixture of good and bad. If we lose sight of that, we end up in some pretty unhelpful places.
Let's take the whole Justice Brett Kavanaugh debate as an example. Here a group of us seemed to believe that if Kavanaugh sexually assaulted Ms. Christine Blasey Ford as she testified, there was no way he could be a good Supreme Court Justice. But nobody is all bad. As a Christian, I believe that the Holy Spirit graciously keeps us and our world from being as wicked as we could be. We'd like to think that the most moral people would be the most skilled and successful people, but things don't always work that way. You could be the kindest and most loving baker in history but still make dry and bland cupcakes. Or you could be the most selfish and bitter author ever to live but still write amazingly beautiful and touching poetry. Now our good qualities may not be redeeming enough to make others want to be around us, but all of us are capable of doing what is right and doing things well.
On the other hand, a group of us seemed to believe that if Kavanaugh is a respectable person as he and others argued, there was no way he could have done something like commit sexual assault. But nobody is all good. As a Christian, I believe that sin and evil infect every single part of our lives. We'd like to think that we or others we look up to could never do something horribly wrong, but that is not the truth. The evil that we hate in others is inside us, too. Every single on us does things that are wrong. What's more, every single one of us is capable of things we would consider monstrous and horrible. I doubt it would take you long to think of a respected religious or political leader who committed sexual assault or who was deeply racist or sexist. By the grace of God, very few of us will go so far as to do something like take another person's life, but every single one of us wishes someone else were dead at some point, and all of us could murder if we had a bad enough week and let go of our restraints.
So we can't just hero-worship others. The very best of us have flaws and faults that are not respectable in the least. But we can't just dismiss others, either. The very worst of us have gifts and capabilities to help others. Nobody's perfect, and nobody's worthless. We need to be honest about ourselves and others. Seeing the good in others is important if we're going to love and care for them as we should. And seeing the bad in others is important to keep us from trusting them too much or allowing them to hurt someone else. We're all complicated people, neither as good nor as bad as we could be. Those who are supposedly the best of us and those who are supposedly the worst of us are much more similar than different. That should make us humble and careful. Most of all that should make us grateful that God offers us forgiveness us in Christ Jesus, that He shows what it means to be good, and that through the Holy Spirit He helps us to be better than we could be on our own.
Grace and peace,
BMH
P.S. I've got more I'd like to say about sin and its effect on our lives, but this is getting long, so I better save that for next week. Thanks for making it this far, complicated readers.
Monday, October 1, 2018
#102 Game 163
The Milwaukee Brewers are my team. I'm a fan of the Green Bay Packers, the Milwaukee Bucks, and the Wisconsin Badgers (both football and men's basketball). I follow and try to cheer for the Winnipeg Jets (not sure I quite count as a hockey fan yet). But my heart lies with the Brewers. An MLB regular season is 162 games spread over six months. From April to September, I check the Brewers score and stats pretty much without fail every single game. The Packers and Badgers have been much more successful in my lifetime, and the Bucks have had a lot more buzz over the past couple seasons, but no team brings me anywhere near as much joy as the Brewers do.
I'm not sure when my affection for the Brewers began overtaking my interest in other teams, but I know it solidified during the magical 2011 season. That year the Brewers went 96-66, winning their division (the NL Central) for the first time in my life. They won their first playoff series before losing to [*shudder*] the St. Louis Cardinals. With so many home baseball games each season, tickets to see the Brewers at Miller Park are normally pretty cheaply available, especially when the Brewers aren't very good (which is most years). In 2011, even as the Brew Crew soared, I went a personal record six times, including attending the first playoff game with my dad and sister. The Brewers won every time. By sheer chance (on our end, at least) we were at Miller Park the night the Brewers clinched the division title. The stadium went nuts. I hugged my family and high-fived strangers. It's one of the greatest experiences of my life. After that, I knew I would never enjoy another franchise as much as the Brewers.
This year the Brewers came back. There were a few rough patches, but for the most part, the Crew played good ball all season long. After an incredible six weeks to close the season, we ended yesterday 95-67, tied with the Chicago Cubs for the division lead. Because baseball can be played mutiple days in a row without much trouble, and because the folks at MLB are good to us, there are no tiebreakers for determining division titles. The tied teams simply play an extra regular season game: Game 163. Today, on my day of rest, the Brewers traveled to Chicago to determine who would claim the division. To my great delight, I could watch the whole game. Lanie napped until the 8th inning while I experienced a frenzy of emotions: anxiety, hope, depression, elation, fear, relief. I retrieved Lanie from her room just as the Brewers rallied to break the tie and regain their lead. I placed her in her high chair for her late lunch and paced back and forth while the Cubs batted. She looked at me like I was crazy, but she gave me a high five after great plays. When the Brewers recorded the last out to win the division, I jumped up and down and screamed with joy, nearly scaring my poor daughter to death. But when Lanie saw me smiling, she started to smile, too. Lanie doesn't know what happened today, but she knows it made her daddy very happy. Someday, when she can understand, I'll have to tell her about this day, a day I'll never forget. I hope the Brewers continue to play well in the postseason. I would love for them to go to the World Series for the first time in my life and win for the first time in franchise history. But no matter what happens after today, I'll always look back on 2018 as another magical season, a year when my team achieved something worth celebrating. As they've been saying in Milwaukee, "Let's gooooooo!"
Grace and peace,
BMH
Monday, September 24, 2018
#101 The End. Or Maybe Not.
One of my all-time favorite albums is The End Is Not the End by House of Heroes. House of Heroes is a (Christian) alternative rock band. I put Christian in parentheses because, while the band used to be signed to a Christian record label (they're now independent), I don't think they really openly identified and toured as a Christian band. If I really sat down and thought about it, I don't think The End Is Not the End would be my #1 album of all time, but it would definitely be in the running. This album came out 10 years ago this week, so I thought this week I'd listen to the album again and write a few thoughts. You're welcome to give it a listen yourself on YouTube by clicking on this link. Otherwise, you can simply read my thoughts. And if alternative music isn't really your jam, feel free to come back to the blog some other week. Here we go!
I really appreciate the energy of this album. Some tracks are slower, but the album never drags. Pretty much all the songs are catchy, and they've all got that solid guitar and drum rock feel. "If," the first real track on the album, is probably my favorite song on the album. The lyrics are pretty interesting in places, and I just think it's a cool song. I think this album has some good variety. The songs definitely don't all sound the same, though they do fit together pretty well. "Dangerous" has a chorus that always gets stuck in my head. Many of the songs of the album feel like they could be telling a WWII story. A good example is "In the Valley of the Dying Sun," which describes a soldier being forced to kill to survive. "Code Name: Raven" is another one of my favorites. I love its rhythm. "By Your Side" is more of a ballad, and it contains the album title as part of its lyrics. "Journey into Space (Part One)" is the last of my favorite songs. The instrumental section before the last chorus is great, and I've always enjoyed when the guitars drop out, leaving just vocals and drums for a bit close to the end. "Baby's a Red" is a lovely tune about being in love with a Communist, so that's fun. Another song snippet that always gets stuck in my head is the end of "Faces," which describes a fighter pilot being shot down. Part of why I love this album so much is its consistent quality. There are obviously some songs that I like more than others, but there's not a single song that I dislike or even think is just okay. They're all good, and a few are downright great. Plus, we get a bonus track at the end in "The Young and Brutal." Fun stuff!
Listening to this album always makes me happy. That must be why I listen to it so often. I hope you enjoyed it as well!
Grace and peace,
BMH
I really appreciate the energy of this album. Some tracks are slower, but the album never drags. Pretty much all the songs are catchy, and they've all got that solid guitar and drum rock feel. "If," the first real track on the album, is probably my favorite song on the album. The lyrics are pretty interesting in places, and I just think it's a cool song. I think this album has some good variety. The songs definitely don't all sound the same, though they do fit together pretty well. "Dangerous" has a chorus that always gets stuck in my head. Many of the songs of the album feel like they could be telling a WWII story. A good example is "In the Valley of the Dying Sun," which describes a soldier being forced to kill to survive. "Code Name: Raven" is another one of my favorites. I love its rhythm. "By Your Side" is more of a ballad, and it contains the album title as part of its lyrics. "Journey into Space (Part One)" is the last of my favorite songs. The instrumental section before the last chorus is great, and I've always enjoyed when the guitars drop out, leaving just vocals and drums for a bit close to the end. "Baby's a Red" is a lovely tune about being in love with a Communist, so that's fun. Another song snippet that always gets stuck in my head is the end of "Faces," which describes a fighter pilot being shot down. Part of why I love this album so much is its consistent quality. There are obviously some songs that I like more than others, but there's not a single song that I dislike or even think is just okay. They're all good, and a few are downright great. Plus, we get a bonus track at the end in "The Young and Brutal." Fun stuff!
Listening to this album always makes me happy. That must be why I listen to it so often. I hope you enjoyed it as well!
Grace and peace,
BMH
Monday, September 17, 2018
#100 Xenophobia
We've hit 100 posts! If this blog were a monthly comic book, like the old The Adventures of Superman series that my blog's name references, hitting triple digits would be a big deal. For a (normally) weekly blog, that's not as impressive, but, I think it's still pretty cool. Thanks for reading, everbody!
Now let's get down to business. This week I'd like to talk about xenophobia. If you're unfamiliar with the word, it refers to the fear of strangers. Normally, xenophobia is used to describe fear and even hatred of foreigners, but it can be applied more broadly. I'd like to use it in a broader sense here. Let's think of xenophobia as the fear of people who are different.
I think xenophobia is deep in every human heart. We tend to be more comfortable with people that we think are similar to us. Often we default to language of "us" and "them" in our conversations and thought. Obviously the membership of those groups varies based on what we're talking about, but there are few things simpler or easier than dividing humanity into people like us and people not like us. I would guess most of the time our us-them divisions are unconscious, and I think many times we don't mean anything bad by them. But we tend to think better of ourselves than others, and so we tend to think better of us than them. I think constantly thinking of other people as different from us makes it easier for us to be suspicious of them. Who are we going to trust? Ourselves or people who are different? It's easy for us to distance ourselves from others and let that distance turn into fear and then hatred. Think about our conversations about political parties or immigration or gender and sexuality. How often do we speak poorly of "them"? How often do we worry about what "they" might be up to? Simply by being biased towards ourselves, we can quickly become biased against others. It doesn't take much for that to lead to fear and even hatred. There are few things that I think we should be more concerned about in our lives that unchecked xenophobia.
Thankfully, in the midst of our xenophobia, Jesus teaches us to love everyone, including those who are different. I'm not sure I can think of a lesson that is more difficult or more important for us than that. Jesus calls us to love every person we encounter as much as we love ourselves, no matter how different they might be and no matter how much they love us back. Jesus could have treated everybody—you and me included—as "them." He's perfect. No one else is. But instead Jesus reached out to bring all kinds of people into "us," making all kinds of people His sisters and brothers. He challenges you and me to think of no one else as unable to be part of "us." Sure, people are different. Those differences can't just be ignored; many times, in fact, they should even be celebrated. But Jesus teaches that everyone is created and loved by God, broken and hurt by sin and evil, and able to be redeemed and renewed in Him. That common human condition can help you and me see past "us" and "them." Others may be different, but others are not totally different than we are.
Xenophobia doesn't fit with Christainity. But sadly, xenophobia has been taught to us and ingrained in us all our lives. Our biases are real and deep. We can't totally get rid of them. But what we can do is become more aware of them. (Click this link if you'd like some tests that could help with that.) We can try to be on the lookout to avoid slipping into us-them language. And most of all, we can ask Jesus to help us love others because "perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18). This kind of love understands that others may fear and hate us, but it doesn't worry about that. This kind of love trusts that God can and hopes that God will use us loving others to help overcome that fear and hatred. Jesus loves us, and He wants to teach us to love others, too.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Now let's get down to business. This week I'd like to talk about xenophobia. If you're unfamiliar with the word, it refers to the fear of strangers. Normally, xenophobia is used to describe fear and even hatred of foreigners, but it can be applied more broadly. I'd like to use it in a broader sense here. Let's think of xenophobia as the fear of people who are different.
I think xenophobia is deep in every human heart. We tend to be more comfortable with people that we think are similar to us. Often we default to language of "us" and "them" in our conversations and thought. Obviously the membership of those groups varies based on what we're talking about, but there are few things simpler or easier than dividing humanity into people like us and people not like us. I would guess most of the time our us-them divisions are unconscious, and I think many times we don't mean anything bad by them. But we tend to think better of ourselves than others, and so we tend to think better of us than them. I think constantly thinking of other people as different from us makes it easier for us to be suspicious of them. Who are we going to trust? Ourselves or people who are different? It's easy for us to distance ourselves from others and let that distance turn into fear and then hatred. Think about our conversations about political parties or immigration or gender and sexuality. How often do we speak poorly of "them"? How often do we worry about what "they" might be up to? Simply by being biased towards ourselves, we can quickly become biased against others. It doesn't take much for that to lead to fear and even hatred. There are few things that I think we should be more concerned about in our lives that unchecked xenophobia.
Thankfully, in the midst of our xenophobia, Jesus teaches us to love everyone, including those who are different. I'm not sure I can think of a lesson that is more difficult or more important for us than that. Jesus calls us to love every person we encounter as much as we love ourselves, no matter how different they might be and no matter how much they love us back. Jesus could have treated everybody—you and me included—as "them." He's perfect. No one else is. But instead Jesus reached out to bring all kinds of people into "us," making all kinds of people His sisters and brothers. He challenges you and me to think of no one else as unable to be part of "us." Sure, people are different. Those differences can't just be ignored; many times, in fact, they should even be celebrated. But Jesus teaches that everyone is created and loved by God, broken and hurt by sin and evil, and able to be redeemed and renewed in Him. That common human condition can help you and me see past "us" and "them." Others may be different, but others are not totally different than we are.
Xenophobia doesn't fit with Christainity. But sadly, xenophobia has been taught to us and ingrained in us all our lives. Our biases are real and deep. We can't totally get rid of them. But what we can do is become more aware of them. (Click this link if you'd like some tests that could help with that.) We can try to be on the lookout to avoid slipping into us-them language. And most of all, we can ask Jesus to help us love others because "perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18). This kind of love understands that others may fear and hate us, but it doesn't worry about that. This kind of love trusts that God can and hopes that God will use us loving others to help overcome that fear and hatred. Jesus loves us, and He wants to teach us to love others, too.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Monday, September 10, 2018
#99 Tolerance
Tolerance might be the highest virtue in the eyes of American society. We tell others, "You do you." We think that nobody has the right to judge us. We figure that if someone's actions aren't actively harming another person, then that's nobody's business. And for the most part, that sounds pretty good. Intolerance, in comparison, sounds awful. That brings to mind images of intense judgmentalism, people screaming that others are wrong, accusatory fingers pointing, people getting kicked out. Clearly judgment taken to the extreme isn't good.
But here's the thing: no matter what we may think, tolerance taken to the extreme isn't good either. Tolerance seems like love. It seems like respect for others and concern for their happiness. Many times tolerance is right. We shouldn't think less of others who have different tastes in food or entertainment. We shouldn't discriminate against others who aren't like us, especially when they're not like us because of differences in things we can't control. But ultimately tolerance becomes indifference. "Do whatever you want. I don't care." And that's not love. In some ways, that's the opposite of love. Love cares deeply about another person.
As Christians we're called to love. We can't just be tolerant without exception. I get why that's appealing. Many times Christians come across as overly judgmental. That doesn't look good, and it isn't good, either. It's not loving to be harsh toward others, even when they do wrong. But it's also not loving to simply allow others to do wrong. When it comes to moral issues, tolerance seems better than judgmentalism, and maybe it even is better than judgmentalism, but is not the answer. As Christians we believe that sins hurt us, even when they don't hurt anyone else, and even when they don't seem to hurt us. Love is finding a way to gently tell others when they've gone wrong while also being very honest about the fact that we go wrong in just as many ways. We need to understand that our sense of right and wrong can often be skewed and not be too quick to pronounce behaviors wrong. We need to be careful about not harshly judging others for things we do ourselves. We need to be compassionate and consider why people do things that are wrong. We need to be forgiving. But we can't just tolerate everything. We need to witness to what's right, and we need to love. We should treat others the way we want to be treated. And I know that I don't want to be tolerated; I want to be loved, even when learning I'm wrong may hurt.
Grace and peace,
BMH
But here's the thing: no matter what we may think, tolerance taken to the extreme isn't good either. Tolerance seems like love. It seems like respect for others and concern for their happiness. Many times tolerance is right. We shouldn't think less of others who have different tastes in food or entertainment. We shouldn't discriminate against others who aren't like us, especially when they're not like us because of differences in things we can't control. But ultimately tolerance becomes indifference. "Do whatever you want. I don't care." And that's not love. In some ways, that's the opposite of love. Love cares deeply about another person.
As Christians we're called to love. We can't just be tolerant without exception. I get why that's appealing. Many times Christians come across as overly judgmental. That doesn't look good, and it isn't good, either. It's not loving to be harsh toward others, even when they do wrong. But it's also not loving to simply allow others to do wrong. When it comes to moral issues, tolerance seems better than judgmentalism, and maybe it even is better than judgmentalism, but is not the answer. As Christians we believe that sins hurt us, even when they don't hurt anyone else, and even when they don't seem to hurt us. Love is finding a way to gently tell others when they've gone wrong while also being very honest about the fact that we go wrong in just as many ways. We need to understand that our sense of right and wrong can often be skewed and not be too quick to pronounce behaviors wrong. We need to be careful about not harshly judging others for things we do ourselves. We need to be compassionate and consider why people do things that are wrong. We need to be forgiving. But we can't just tolerate everything. We need to witness to what's right, and we need to love. We should treat others the way we want to be treated. And I know that I don't want to be tolerated; I want to be loved, even when learning I'm wrong may hurt.
Grace and peace,
BMH
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