I've heard quite a bit of discussion about sexual harrassment and sexual assault over the past couple of years. This came up again with the allegations against Justice Brett Kavanaugh. I heard some comments along the lines of "It was a stupid mistake made years ago. Who didn't do something stupid as a kid?" and "Boys will be boys." I don't want to assume too much about what the people who made those comments meant, but those comments sound like, "It's okay." Here's my response to that: "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! NOOOOOOOO! You CAN'T say that!"
Let me explain. First, sexual assault is NOT okay. It's not. As Christians, we CANNOT give the impression that it is. Look at all the trouble the Roman Catholic branch of the church has gotten in because of sexual assault. Someone in the U.S. is sexaully assaulted every 98 seconds. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Survivors of sexual assault are everywhere, and this trauma often affects the rest of their lives. We can't act like these survivors should just be able to forget their assault or let it go. I can't imagine sexual assault survivors will want to come to our churches if we don't clearly and consistently speak against sexual assault. The church should provide hope for God's healing to sexual assault survivors. (Note: I am well aware that Justice Kavanaugh has not been convicted of sexual assault. I am not assuming his guilt. What I'm saying is we should say that what he is accused of is a horrible thing.)
Second, sin is NOT okay. It is not a minor thing. We should not confuse God's grace with an indifference to sin. Sin is a big deal to God, and it should be to us. For one thing, I don't think there are very many sins that actually don't hurt someone else. For example, it's difficult to have lustful thoughts and not begin to think of and treat other people more like objects. Even sins that don't hurt others still hurt us. They destroy our conscience and pull us away from God. They make us more self-absorbed (especially if we think we can get away with no consequences), which isn't good. And most importantly, all sins offend God. To quote the Heidelberg Catechism (Q&A 11), all sins are "committed against His supreme majesty." When we sin, we essentially flip God the middle finger and say, "We'll decide what's right and wrong for ourselves, thanks. We know better than you." That is a BIG deal. That's such a big deal that the only reason we can be forgiven is because God Himself, without losing His divinity, became a human being and died for our sins. Let me say that again: our sins are so serious that it took the perfect Son of God dying to take care of them. God in His grace doesn't just let sin go; He still justly and rightly punishes it. God in His grace takes our punishment Himself.
That must shape how we talk about sin. There is no sin that is not forgivable. Sexual assault is forgivable. Racism is forgivable. Murder is forgivable. But these sins are NOT okay. They, like all sins, are absolutely horrible. They can be forgiven only through the unequalable victory of Christ Jesus' death and resurrection. To treat sin—any sin—like it's not a big deal is too cheapen the sacrifice and triumph of our Lord and Savior. To say that sin is okay is to lie about God. We CAN'T do that. We who have been forgiven must be willing to forgive others when they sin against us. (Important side note: It's not our place to offer forgiveness when someone else has been sinned against. We can still testify about God's forgiveness in Jesus, but those who have been sinned against should offer forgiveness.) But when we do, we should say, "I forgive you," not "It's okay." There's a huge difference between those two statements. Only if we treat sin as seriously as we should, can we truly understand just how amazing God's grace is.
Grace and peace,
BMH
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