#260 Sadness and Shame

This was our moment. My denomination, the Christian Reformed Church in North America, was going to discuss human sexuality, a topic of discussion throughout American society. Together we were going to work on discerning how God calls Christians to live as His people in this important area. There were going to be more eyes on the CRC and on synod, our annual meeting, than there had been in 25-30 years. I had a fair amount of anxiety as synod approached, wrestling with the theology involved and its implications, praying for clarity for myself and for the delegates to synod and for the denomination. I knew things could become tense, even hostile, but I had hope. I had hope that we would bear witness to Christ's love, speaking humbly, acting graciously, showing mutual concern and respect for each other.

We'll see what happens as we move forward, but at this point I feel like we really made a mess of things. I'm not really talking about the decisions we made at synod (though I shared much of my understanding of what God teaches us about marriage and sex in my last post). I'm talking about our discussion around and especially immediately after our synod decisions. As I read different reports and responses leading up to synod, I worried that many times we were misunderstanding if not mischaracterizing one another when we disagreed. I wasn't at synod, nor did I watch the (slightly delayed) stream of the discussions, so I don't know much about how the official conversation went. But a lot of our responses were brutal. There were emotion-filled quotes and posts that seemed to take aim at large groups of us. I've had a lot of different feelings over the past few days, but I mostly feel sadness and a fair amount of shame. Is this really how we treat not just our fellow people, but our sisters and brothers in Christ? We seem to speak about one another in dismissive terms that sometimes feel like they're bordering on contempt. We appear to make assumptions about each other's motivations, character, and goals. We just seem so incredibly sure that we are right, that we understand things correctly, that God is on our side. We appear to treat the whole discussion as a matter of winners or losers, whether we feel we "won" or "lost." And I say we because I know I'm guilty, too. We should know better. I keep thinking of God's words to the Christians in Corinth (see 1 Corinthians 3): We're still worldly, aren't we? Haven't we proven that by our words and actions this week?

Lord Jesus, call us, this small part of your great church, back to you. Cleanse us from our sins. Renew us in your likeness. Help us follow you and represent you well.

Grace and peace,

BMH