Poor Lanie is going through the difficult process of adjusting to having a younger sibling at home. Again and again Tess and I have to ask her to wait or tell her to hold on because we're busy taking care of Mia. Yesterday, Lanie finally reached a tipping point. She asked for a snack, only to hear Tess say, "You need to learn patience." And dear sweet Lanie stretched out flat on her back on the floor and cried, "I don't want to learn patience!" As I started to laugh and laugh and laugh I thought, "I can relate to that." I don't want to learn patience either.
Hopefully your experience with the COVID-19 outbreak hasn't caused you any more trouble than making you impatient. And if you are struggling with patience, take heart. Lanie knows just how you feel.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Monday, March 23, 2020
#169 Discharge
Last Wednesday (March 18), Mia was discharged from Blank Children's Hospital. The Hofman family is finally home! We are so grateful for God's love and faithfulness to us over the past month and a half. Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us. Mia spent 41 days in the NICU. This was an incredibly difficult and stressful time for us, an experience that I'm sure Tess and I will never forget. But, praise God, Mia was really a champ the whole time. She didn't have many setbacks and had no real serious concerns. Learning to eat took a few weeks, but little by little, bit by bit she gained weight and strength. Finally everything clicked for Mia early last week.
After weeks and weeks of NICU life, packing up our belongings at the hospital and the Ronald McDonald House and loading them into our van was bizarre. After one last bottle in the hospital, Mia got her sensors removed. We strapped her into her carseat, and then things started to feel very surreal. I carried Mia out of her room and out of the NICU. After I drove the van up, Tess carried Mia out of the hospital. We were free!
While it took Mia nearly six weeks to make it home from the hospital, we still weren't expecting her to be here yet. We will need to watch her pretty closely for a little while to make sure she continues to gain weight. And after having nurses caring for Mia for so long, we're still adjusting to sleeping in the same room as Mia and getting up with her in the middle of the night. But we are so happy to be home. We are beyond excited to have Lanie back with us again. And we are so, so grateful that Mia is healthy. Our NICU adventure is done. Now it's on the next one.
Grace and peace,
BMH
After weeks and weeks of NICU life, packing up our belongings at the hospital and the Ronald McDonald House and loading them into our van was bizarre. After one last bottle in the hospital, Mia got her sensors removed. We strapped her into her carseat, and then things started to feel very surreal. I carried Mia out of her room and out of the NICU. After I drove the van up, Tess carried Mia out of the hospital. We were free!
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| Look, Mom: No wires! |
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| Ready to go home! |
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| Mommy happy to be home with her girls |
BMH
Monday, March 16, 2020
#168 Separation
If you need a Mia update, here's a quick one: Mia is still doing well overall. Since last week she has gained a little weight (over 5 lb. now!) and has made some improvements with her eating. However, she still is not eating everything by mouth. We are getting closer, but Mia is still in the NICU for now.
This past week has been tough. Two weeks ago Lanie came down with a cold and ended up going to stay with her grandparents in Wisconsin. Last week we got a healthy Lanie back on Monday. Tess and I were so excited to all be together again. Tuesday we spent the day in and around the hospital. I even got a few minutes to snuggle with both of my girls. On Wednesday morning we showed up at the hospital and found out that Lanie was no longer allowed due to new visitor restrictions meant to reduce the spread of coronavirus. (Note: we understand why these policies are important) Tess and I were blindsided by the news. Lanie didn't understand why she couldn't see her sister. So Tess and I settled into living in shifts: I would spend time in the hospital with Mia while Tess stayed at the Ronald McDonald House with Lanie, and then we would switch. This sort of worked, but it was really difficult. We lost out on a lot of things we were able to do with Lanie at the hospital, and Tess and I got basically no time together. We made it to the weekend, when Lanie and I went back to Kanawha so I could preach on Sunday. Moving forward, Tess and I had a very undesirable choice: either she and I lived almost separate lives for the rest of the time Mia is in the NICU, or we made other arrangements for Lanie and spent even more time away from her. Either way felt like losing part of ourselves. We decided the best option was giving Lanie more time with her grandparents, which is probably for the best because the Ronald McDonald House now has to implement new, stricter policies as well. (Note: again, we understand why these policies are important) But we miss Lanie. We wish she was with us. We're ready for the four of us to be together. We're ready to go home.
Grace and peace,
BMH
This past week has been tough. Two weeks ago Lanie came down with a cold and ended up going to stay with her grandparents in Wisconsin. Last week we got a healthy Lanie back on Monday. Tess and I were so excited to all be together again. Tuesday we spent the day in and around the hospital. I even got a few minutes to snuggle with both of my girls. On Wednesday morning we showed up at the hospital and found out that Lanie was no longer allowed due to new visitor restrictions meant to reduce the spread of coronavirus. (Note: we understand why these policies are important) Tess and I were blindsided by the news. Lanie didn't understand why she couldn't see her sister. So Tess and I settled into living in shifts: I would spend time in the hospital with Mia while Tess stayed at the Ronald McDonald House with Lanie, and then we would switch. This sort of worked, but it was really difficult. We lost out on a lot of things we were able to do with Lanie at the hospital, and Tess and I got basically no time together. We made it to the weekend, when Lanie and I went back to Kanawha so I could preach on Sunday. Moving forward, Tess and I had a very undesirable choice: either she and I lived almost separate lives for the rest of the time Mia is in the NICU, or we made other arrangements for Lanie and spent even more time away from her. Either way felt like losing part of ourselves. We decided the best option was giving Lanie more time with her grandparents, which is probably for the best because the Ronald McDonald House now has to implement new, stricter policies as well. (Note: again, we understand why these policies are important) But we miss Lanie. We wish she was with us. We're ready for the four of us to be together. We're ready to go home.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Monday, March 9, 2020
#167 When Missing Out Is Somehow Encouraging
First, a quick Mia update if you need one: Mia is making progress. She's slowly learning to eat more and more on her own, and she weighs about 5 lb. now. For now, she's still in the NICU, but graduation day is getting closer.
With Mia being down in Des Moines and Tess and I staying with her, I haven't been doing a whole lot of work for the last month. The council and congregation at Kanawha CRC have been very gracious to me. At this point I'm really only preaching, since I can write a sermon from Des Moines and then just go back to Kanawha Saturday evening through Sunday afternoon. Tess and I are extremely grateful for everyone's patience and prayers.
While not having as many work responsibilities takes quite a bit of weight off my shoulders, I am finding that I miss my regular ministry work. I've been able to make a few phone calls, but I miss doing real, in-person visits. I miss hanging out with middle schoolers and high schoolers on Wednesday nights. I miss my regular trips to the nursing home and all the unplanned interactions with neighbors and community members around town. I find it really encouraging that my unplanned break from work hasn't been this huge relief. Instead I've been reminded how much I enjoy ministry. Even though I'm not doing a lot of work right now, I still feel affirmed in my calling. Returning to full-time work will be one more thing to look forward to when we all finally come home.
Grace and peace,
BMH
Wednesday, March 4, 2020
#166 Ronald McDonald House
Brief Mia update for anyone reading this blog who hasn't seen an update lately: Mia is doing very well. She was 4 lb. 8 oz. when she was weighed last night (Mar 3). She's still working on eating all of her bottle every time, but her stamina is definitely increasing. Once Mia is consistently taking 100% of her food by mouth, we will come home.
While we're down in Des Moines, Tess and I (and Lanie when she's around) are staying at the Ronald McDonald House. We were eligible to stay here because we have a child in the hospital and received a referral from a doctor. The Ronald McDonald House has been an enormous blessing for us. We stay in a room that's much like a hotel room: there are two queen beds and an attached bathroom. (Side note: Our bed at the RMH is probably nicer than our bed at home. We have not been suffering at night.)
But the Ronald McDonald House is not a hotel. In addition to lodging, we also get food there. Some individual or group volunteers to bring dinner every night at 6:00. (And no, we don't eat pasta every night. There's a good variety of meals.) Leftovers and a bunch of other food are on hand for breakfast and lunch and snack breaks galore. There are a couple of playrooms to help keep Lanie occupied. There's a laundry room in the basement where detergent and dryer sheets are provided. And for all of these services, RMH suggests we donate $10 per night. (I think I spent about twice that much my first day here when I ate three normal-sized meals in the hosptial cafeteria.)
In short, we are incredibly grateful for the Ronald McDonald House. There's not enough room for us to stay in Mia's room at the hospital. A hotel would be way too expensive. Driving nearly two hours each way to commute back and forth from Kanawha would be brutal. If you've ever donated to RMH (or even dropped some change in one of those collection boxes by the cash register or drive-thru at a McDonald's), thank you. It's a huge relief not to have to worry about taking care of ourselves while we're looking out for Mia.
Now if we could just do something about the creepy Ronald McDonald statue in front of the house…
Grace and peace,
BMH
While we're down in Des Moines, Tess and I (and Lanie when she's around) are staying at the Ronald McDonald House. We were eligible to stay here because we have a child in the hospital and received a referral from a doctor. The Ronald McDonald House has been an enormous blessing for us. We stay in a room that's much like a hotel room: there are two queen beds and an attached bathroom. (Side note: Our bed at the RMH is probably nicer than our bed at home. We have not been suffering at night.)
But the Ronald McDonald House is not a hotel. In addition to lodging, we also get food there. Some individual or group volunteers to bring dinner every night at 6:00. (And no, we don't eat pasta every night. There's a good variety of meals.) Leftovers and a bunch of other food are on hand for breakfast and lunch and snack breaks galore. There are a couple of playrooms to help keep Lanie occupied. There's a laundry room in the basement where detergent and dryer sheets are provided. And for all of these services, RMH suggests we donate $10 per night. (I think I spent about twice that much my first day here when I ate three normal-sized meals in the hosptial cafeteria.)
In short, we are incredibly grateful for the Ronald McDonald House. There's not enough room for us to stay in Mia's room at the hospital. A hotel would be way too expensive. Driving nearly two hours each way to commute back and forth from Kanawha would be brutal. If you've ever donated to RMH (or even dropped some change in one of those collection boxes by the cash register or drive-thru at a McDonald's), thank you. It's a huge relief not to have to worry about taking care of ourselves while we're looking out for Mia.
Now if we could just do something about the creepy Ronald McDonald statue in front of the house…
Grace and peace,
BMH
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