#210 Alphabet Soup

This post is not going to be very serious, but I think it's still important. Lanie is now four years old, and she's starting to learn about letters. She has some alphabet flash cards that she likes to look at once in a while. So we talk about the names of the letters and the sounds they make. I'd like to a file a formal complaint about this letter: W. We call that thing "double u." That's a terrible idea. Never mind the fact that in most people's penmanship and most fonts it looks more like a double v. Calling that letter "double u" tells nothing about the sound it makes. There's no "wuh" anywhere in there. We should call it "wee" or "way" or—if you don't like that those suggestions are already English words—"wub." Then our poor children might have an easier time associating the letter with the sound it makes.

And while we're at it, I'd like to complain about a couple other things, too. G should never make a sound like J makes. That's what the letter J is for. I don't care if English shares its alphabet with other languages or if some of words are imported from other languages with different rules. Let's standardize our own letter sounds. JIANT and JIRAFFE might look funny now, but we can adapt. Let's help out the people learning English, especially those poor souls who have to learn it as a secondary lanugage.

And don't even get me started on C. Why do we even have this letter? Sometimes it makes a K sound and sometimes it makes an S sound. So let's just use K and S. I'm all for talking about SIRKLES. Actually, let's make that SIRKELS or even SURKELS. Then's it obvious how to pronounce that word. If we absolutely need to hold on to the letter C for the sake of history or because no one wants to redesign or keyboards or whatever, then let's have it make a "chuh" sound instead. That's a distinct and useful sound. Plus, it'll shorten the spelling of a lot of our words. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go sit on my KOUC.

Grace and peace,

BMH