When I picture college life, I picture myself living in Tib 16. I lived there, just off the main stairwell of Tibstra Hall at Trinity Christian College, during my sophomore year. I had good experiences my other three years of college. I even lived with good friends those other years. But there was something magical about Tib 16. This week seems like a good time to go back ten years and revisit the glory days.
There were six of us in Tib 16: Brian Clark, Caleb Huizinga, Bryan Kunz, Ryan Lindemulder, Kyle Van Eerden, and myself. Clark, Kunz, Lindy, Kyle and I were cross country and track teammates. We'd bonded over hours and hours of shared runs, plus loads of other adventures and free time spent hanging out freshman year. We asked Caleb to complete our suite, and he was a great fit, maybe in part because he wasn't yet another runner. We got along really well that year. I think we were just a good mix. For the most part we all like to play cards and shared similar taste in movies. Different smaller groups of us had common interests in sports and music. But we all had unique things too. We studied different things, worked different jobs, had a few common friends but a fair number of different friends. And I think that made things work. We weren't all in Tib 16 super often, but very rarely was any of us there alone. We paired and grouped up in new ways and made new memories again and again. And we were close, too. I know it's a cliche, but I viewed those guys as my brothers. I still do.
A large part of our fun was doing stupid stuff. We had a shared pet hedgehog that we all very quickly grew to despise. A couple of us rescued a GIANT mirror and put it next to the door to make our suite seem bigger. We hung random artwork on the wall with "classy" frames made from duct tape and electrical tape. We found strange photos of people we didn't know and put them on display. We chipped away at privacy and personal space until we had only the barest minimum we needed left (and sometimes less than that). On top of the stupid stuff we piled on a generous helping of card games, jam sessions, pointless debates, video game marathons, plus a few heart-to-hearts. For the few friends that we shared, Tib 16 became a pretty natural gathering place, which made things even better.
Now that I'm on the brink of 30, those days just before and after my 20th birthday feel like a while ago. I'm more than happy being married to Tess, being a father to Lanie and Mia, and being a pastor. But there was something special, something I do miss about those college days. I know a lot of other people look back fondly on their college experience. Lately I've been thinking that's because of the sense of community. Now that I'm family man, my life is more isolated. We stay home more. We think a lot about getting the kids to bed on time. There's something beautiful about doing life together with other people the way we did in Tib 16. I can't go back to college, but I know I should think more about what I can do to build community. Who's up for just hanging around and maybe doing some stupid stuff now and again?
Grace and peace,
BMH
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