#297 Who Does It Hurt?

Who does it hurt? This is a question we ask ourselves a lot when it comes to our behavior, our morals. Christians have a reputation for being uptight about things that most people would say don't really hurt anyone. A lot of us human beings think it shouldn't matter if we use pornography or have consensual sex outside of marriage. We think it's not a big deal if we call someone names behind their back or tell some "white lies" to serve a good end. Being envious of our friends' possessions or being a little materialistic and buying more than we need don't seem very problematic to us. Nor does neglecting worshiping God or placing God after our families and jobs on our list of priorities. We think these actions don't harm other people, so even if they're not exactly what God wants for us, they're not so bad.

Recently I've heard this argument made when it comes to same-sex marriage. Who does it hurt if two male Christians or two female Christians are sexually intimate within the context of a committed marriage? I have some sympathy for the argument. There are other sexual sins, like adultery and sexual abuse, that cause obvious and greater harm to other people. And being in an opposite-sex marriage does not mean that I or anyone else is sin-free. Part of me would like to celebrate any two people getting married and move on. However, as I've said before on this blog, I believe that God teaches us in the Bible that His will is that sex should only take place within marriage and that marriage should only be between one man and one woman. I have not come across an argument from Scripture in support of same-sex marriage that I find convincing. Others disagree with me, and I am not a perfect interpreter of God's will, but I really believe this is how God wants us to live. Let's proceed humbly and cautiously.

So then, if I am correct, and God does not approve of same-sex marriage, who does it hurt? I think the answer is the spouses in the same-sex marriage. I know that might sound ridiculous. What could be wrong about getting what you want in a committed relationship? But, assuming with me that same-sex marriages go against God's will, then being in such a relationship means teaching yourself to disobey God, to sin. It means elevating your own desires above what God wants for His people generally and you specifically. Ultimately, it means acting like you are God and you get to decide what right and wrong is for yourself.

Now—and this is extremely important—this is the way that ALL sin works. Other sexual sins, like premarital sex or even lust, mean the same things for us. Other sins, like hatred and greed and superstition, do as well. At its heart, sin is idolatry. We sin because—even if we don't consciously think this—we believe we can and should control our lives. We trust ourselves instead of God. Now—this, too is extremely important—I do not believe that sexual sins in general nor same-sex sexual sins in particular are worse in God's sight than other sins. Sin of any variety is dangerous because it leads us away from trusting and relying on God, the only source of life and salvation. Only Christ Jesus can save us from any sin, and He can save us from every sin, forgiving us and transforming us to live for Him in grateful obedience. Who does our sin hurt? It hurts us, so Jesus calls us to repent, turning from our sins to Him, because He alone can save, and He freely gives salvation to all His people.

[Don't stop here! Please go on and read the next post.]

Grace and peace,

BMH