#245 Say Goodbye

Over the weekend I conducted a funeral for a member of the previous congregation that I served. (That congregation is currently without a pastor, so I got the call and was happy to do it.) In the past five years or so, I've done over a dozen funerals for church members there. As time has gone on, I've gotten more and more comfortable leading and helping to organize funeral services. I can walk families through what to expect. I can suggest songs and Scripture passages. I have a good sense of how I like to write a funeral message.

But, despite all that, I wouldn't really say that funerals have gotten easier for me. In some ways I dread them a bit more. That's because the longer I've gotten to know someone as her or his pastor, the more difficult it is for me to say goodbye. I did some early funerals for elderly church members who had battled dementia since before my arrival. While I certainly felt for the families in their grief, I didn't really have much personal sadness. I never really knew the individuals who had died. But doing the funeral for a person whom I've seen week in and week out for worship or with whom I've had many good conversations in the nursing home is tougher. I have my own sense of loss, even if I obviously wasn't as close to the deceased as a spouse or child would be.

I think funerals are an incredibly important part of my job as a pastor. They are a wonderful opportunity to minister to people in very difficult circumstances. Funerals can go a long way towards providing closure or helping in the grieving process. But learning to love the people I serve means funerals won't ever really be easy.

Grace and peace,

BMH